User contributions for Jemaleddin
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- 22:17, 7 December 2021 diff hist +153 Some Other Christmas Man
- 22:15, 7 December 2021 diff hist +153 One Rinthies, Baby
- 22:14, 7 December 2021 diff hist +153 Butt Stuff Dragon current
- 22:12, 7 December 2021 diff hist +153 Dunking on Satan
- 22:08, 7 December 2021 diff hist +153 Ocean's Two
- 22:06, 7 December 2021 diff hist +153 Biblerella
- 22:03, 7 December 2021 diff hist +152 Shalom Birdie (with David Wolkin)
- 21:58, 7 December 2021 diff hist +153 MBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBaM
- 21:55, 7 December 2021 diff hist +153 Literally and Figuratively Wrestling With God
- 21:52, 7 December 2021 diff hist +153 Five Gallons of Bread
- 21:50, 7 December 2021 diff hist +153 Doamurder, West Virginia
- 21:49, 7 December 2021 diff hist +153 An Approximate Week
- 21:48, 7 December 2021 diff hist +107 Glossary →Show Lingo
- 21:46, 7 December 2021 diff hist +153 The Boy-Related Eagle Plan current
- 21:43, 7 December 2021 diff hist +153 Bonus Goat
- 21:42, 7 December 2021 diff hist +153 Whomst Was At the Tombst?
- 21:41, 7 December 2021 diff hist +153 90s Vertigo Jesus
- 21:40, 7 December 2021 diff hist +153 The Dude Hates Wizards
- 21:39, 7 December 2021 diff hist +153 Simon Peter's Sweet Sixteen →Show Notes
- 21:39, 7 December 2021 diff hist +153 What's Up, Doctor Goodacre
- 21:38, 7 December 2021 diff hist +153 Neon Genesis Good News
- 21:37, 7 December 2021 diff hist +153 Fresh Prince of Beliar current
- 21:35, 7 December 2021 diff hist +153 On the Road to Rome
- 21:33, 7 December 2021 diff hist +9 Episode List
- 21:31, 7 December 2021 diff hist +153 Wittgenstein's Monster
- 21:30, 7 December 2021 diff hist +153 Various Heresies
- 21:29, 7 December 2021 diff hist +153 One Weird Trick
- 21:27, 7 December 2021 diff hist +88 I've Been To My Share of Pizza Parties →Listener Notes
- 20:55, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1 I've Been To My Share of Pizza Parties
- 20:54, 7 December 2021 diff hist +12 I've Been To My Share of Pizza Parties
- 20:53, 7 December 2021 diff hist +152 Porky Party
- 20:50, 7 December 2021 diff hist +79 I've Been To My Share of Pizza Parties
- 20:46, 7 December 2021 diff hist −5 I've Been To My Share of Pizza Parties
- 20:41, 7 December 2021 diff hist −195 I've Been To My Share of Pizza Parties
- 20:35, 7 December 2021 diff hist +6 I've Been To My Share of Pizza Parties
- 20:34, 7 December 2021 diff hist +345 I've Been To My Share of Pizza Parties
- 20:30, 7 December 2021 diff hist −345 I've Been To My Share of Pizza Parties
- 20:30, 7 December 2021 diff hist +565 I've Been To My Share of Pizza Parties
- 19:30, 7 December 2021 diff hist +57 Glossary →Show Lingo
- 19:27, 7 December 2021 diff hist −125,649 Episode List →Episodes
- 19:09, 7 December 2021 diff hist +13 Episode List
- 19:09, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,360 N Pretty Sus, Lesbius Created page with "==Show Notes== Quick, Theophiloi! Name your favorite Apostle! Okay, good, now we know who among you cannot be trusted, because anyone who said Andrew is a liar. My dude is boring as all h*ck except for the part where Andrew’s friend goes completely John Wick on a bunch of dudes who are trying to recreate the cover to Uncanny X-Men #251. That might not sound very appealing, but… well, it’s a good show anyway. Promise. Topics of Discussion: The importance of being f..."
- 19:09, 7 December 2021 diff hist +281 N Guess the Persona-fied Bible Character Created page with "==Show Notes== In this special piece of bonus content, Chris tries to stump Benito with images of the depictions of biblical and apocryphal figures in the popular JRPG Persona 5. Can Benito summon all the might of the Guess-o-tron 5000 to aid him in this time of great tribulation?"
- 19:08, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,020 N The Goku of Judaism Created page with "==Show Notes== Happy Halloween, FIENDS and NeighBOOs! It’s the spookiest time of year, and to get in the SPIRIT, we’re reading about how the Master of The Good Name and founder of Hassidic Judaism fought a werewolf and then out-lawyered a ghost in front of God Himself. No, really. It’s exactly as rad as it sounds. Topics of Discussion: AHH!BBA, a spooky film recommendation, the RAMBAM, the RADR, etc, the Appalachians of Dracula, Barovia, a very suspect ingredient,..."
- 19:08, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,440 N An Abyss of Significant Depth Created page with "==Show Notes== I don’t want to brag, Theophiloi, but I think if I was going to write a text in the style of Mr. Paul (a servant of Jesus Christ, called to be an Apostle, separated unto the Gospel of God which He had promised afore by His prophets in the holy scriptures), I could probably do a better job than whoever it was who wrote this one and then pretended to dig it up from under his basement. That said, this bit of apocryphanfic does give us one of the most influe..."
- 19:08, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,376 N Little Martha and the Small Vandellas Created page with "==Show Notes== Work with me here, Theophiloi: It sure is late July 2021, and that means it’s time for us to celebrate the feast day of Jesus’s Second-Favorite Mary, depending on who you ask! We’re rolling through a hagiography of Mary Mags so dubious that even Jacobus de Voragine says part of it is definitely made up, and considering that dude’s wack standards, that’s saying something. Plus, a very special guest Saint who definitely exists because some history..."
- 19:07, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,222 N Approximate Week IV: OblIVion Created page with "==Show Notes== Blessed are your hosts, Theophiloi! It’s been a while, yes, but we’re back just in time for our mutual birthday, with a look at an apocryphal text that goes from zero to complete buck wild in the span of about one paragraph. Get ready for some real Bee Attitudes and join us in this episode as we find out how Joseph — the Old Testament one with the coat, not Jesus’s stepdad — met his very tall, very mean wife. Topics of Discussion: Donald Duckin..."
- 19:07, 7 December 2021 diff hist +220 N Cephalo4: Protect Yr Neck Created page with "==Show Notes== In this special YouTube exclusive Benito-only Apocrypals episode, we discuss the disturbingly robust subgenre of saints known as cephalophores, beheaded folk who carried their own heads around post mortem."
- 19:07, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,556 N Slayer of Men, Conqueror of Space Created page with "==Show Notes== I think you’ll agree, Theophiloi, that while texts containing actual stories about things like 12’ werewolf saints and angel jacuzzis are nice, the real action here on our goodtime comedy podcast is in non-narrative, fragmented gnostic texts about how good is not good, evil is not evil, Jesus is made of bread, and also he had French babies. We’re diving once more into the geometry that inspired the Da Vinci Code (and, you know, the whole thing about..."
- 19:06, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,621 N The Me In This Story Is You Created page with "==Show Notes== CONTENT WARNING: This episode contains discussion of sexual assault with regards to the story of Amnon and Tamar, beginning right after the ad break and ending at 26:00. If I had to rank them, Theophiloi, I’d say that the most wildly violent pieces of media I have ever taken in through the eyeballs are Doom 2016, Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky, and the Second Book of Samuel. Unlike the first two, this one’s not all fun, but we do eventually get to the po..."
- 19:06, 7 December 2021 diff hist +560 N Double Chai: Rock Me, Asmodeus Created page with "==Show Notes== In this bonus episode, Benito goes solo to tell the Jewish legend of King Solomon matching wits with the Prince of Demons. Check out the Apocrypals podcast here: https://apocrypals.libsyn.com/ Hear Asmodeus's other starring role in our episode on the Book of Tobit: https://apocrypals.libsyn.com/13-bonu... Learn about Solomon using demon power to build the Temple in our episode on The Testament of Solomon: https://apocrypals.libsyn.com/25-butt... If you..."
- 19:05, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,549 N Worfin’ the Lions Created page with "==Show Notes== If you told me three years ago, Theophiloi, that the most famous king in Bible was not in the book called “Kings” but was instead in the part named after a dude who is neither present nor alive for the entire thing, I would’ve been real salty about it. Fortunately,, what it lacks in its title character, Sammy Deuce more than makes up for in sheer violence. It’s so much that we had to split it into two, because much like the Mountain Goats, King Dav..."
- 19:05, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,605 N 2000 B.C. Created page with "==Show Notes== You may be wondering, Theophiloi, how we could possibly talk for over 90 minutes about 1 Samuel, which contains one of the Bible stories that literally everyone knows. And yes, you almost certainly know about David and Goliath, but do you know about David's vast collection of foreskins? Or the part where the King of Israel does necromancy with the mom from Bewitched? Or that sweet sweet groundhoney? If you do, well, listen anyway, there's good jokes in thi..."
- 19:05, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,128 N A Miserable Pile of Secrets Created page with "==Show Notes== We weren't kidding, Theophiloi. We actually did a full-length commentary track for The Da Vinci Code (2006, Dir. Ron Howard). Did you know this movie is almost two and a half hours long? Because we didn't when we decided to do this. That is merely one of many shocking revelations that you can unravel along with us in this parasocial hangout sesh... OR IS IT? Topics of Discussion: Listen, I'm not going to lie to you here, we talk about a LOT of stuff in th..."
- 19:04, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,504 N Crisis On 18,000 Earths Created page with "==Show Notes== We're finishing up our third anniversary special this week, Theophiloi, and the sheer weirdness of Enoch's new career has gotten vast enough to fill a myriad of parasangs. You might've thought you were prepared for everything we're going to see in this, but can anyone truly be prepared for SATAN STORMWIND, the sensational character find of the 2nd Century? It's the Dark Souls of apocrypha as these one two princes of podcasting get through 3noch 2: A Little..."
- 19:04, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,488 N God Junior Created page with "==Show Notes== Do me a favor, Theophiloi. Take a moment and write down the number of eyes, wings, and faces, that you think angels have, bearing in mind that you listen to this show and we know you know that two, two, and one are not the correct answers to that question. Now look at that number and understand that according to 3noch, you are almost certainly underestimating how wild we're going to get in this episode. It's our third Apocryphersary, and we're finally tack..."
- 19:04, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,356 N Old Clootie Created page with "==Show Notes== As it is written in the Book of Ecclesiastes, Theophiloi: futility. Utter futility. That's what we get from trying to influence the farce that is Lent Madness to get our pick, St. Dunstan, all the way to the end of that sham of a tournament. In the time between deciding on him and recording this episode, our holy boy is already out, despite doing some real Hellboy stuff to the Devil his own self. Find out more in this week's episode, which is neither farce..."
- 19:03, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,972 N Just One More Thing Created page with "==Show Notes== You know, Theophiloi, my wife, she's a really big fan of these saints these days, so I was wondering if you could help me out here. I've been trying to get through the life of of St. Columba, but there's just a couple things I don't understand. See, this thing, I've been going through it, and it's 87 pages long, and I just can't seem to figure out why a podcaster would choose such a long document to read for a show about Ireland's third most popular saint...."
- 19:03, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,342 N Speedrun Tactics Created page with "==Show Notes== We have had some points of contention, Theophiloi, but up to this point, it's mostly been about Benito's bizarre and upsetting taste in candy. This time, though, a strong candidate for the worst book we've read so far threatens to tear the show apart as a genuine undercurrent of resentment flows over how boring the second half of Jubilees is. Don't let that stop you from listening to the show, though! We promise there are some good jokes in here somewhere!..."
- 19:03, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,392 N Sedeqetelebab! Created page with "==Show Notes== As you are well aware, Theophiloi, the Book of Genesis is the foundational text of not only multiple major religions, but arguably most of Western literature in general. That said, we can all agree that there's at least one major flaw: it does not contain as many half-angel cannibal giants as any of us would like. Fortunately, we have the Book of Mega Drive here to help out by adding an entirely new villain and glossing over some of the more important thin..."
- 19:02, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,428 N Sometimes It's Just Sucky Created page with "==Show Notes== It is with a heavy heart that we must announce that Mr. Paul is at it again, Theophiloi... maybe. In this episode, your humble Sons of Thunder dive into Ephesians, a brief slice of Bible that is relatively (RELATIVELY) chill, to the point where there's doubt over whether the New Testament's grumpiest boy actually wrote it. Don't worry, though: there's still plenty to get mad at. It's the best and worst of our least favorite first-century saint! Topics of..."
- 19:02, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,509 N The Deadliest Skambush of Them All Created page with "==Show Notes== CONTENT WARNING: The text covered in this episode contains a scene of sexual assault, discussed starting at 1:38:00. Happy Gentile New Year, Theophiloi! Like Merle Haggard, we have made it through December, and we're treating ourselves to what is probably the rawest book in Bible — which unfortunately includes what Luke T. Harrington has called the most depraved passage in the whole book. What better to greet 2021 than with that sort of up-and-down rolle..."
- 19:02, 7 December 2021 diff hist +342 N Bill Bless Us, Every Ted Created page with "==Show Notes== Happy Holidays, Theophiloi! We've wrapped up the show for the year, but before we get to these last few days of kicking back with a nice hot chocolate and a cup of coffee for St. Lucy, we're inviting you to join us for our Christmastime gift exchange. Plus: a very, very short apocryphal text about Baby Jesus bustin' up rocks!"
- 19:01, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,703 N Marys Christmas Created page with "==Show Notes== Happy Holidays, Theophiloi! It's our favorite time of the year, and that means we're once again reading the story about how an angel came down to herald the birth of a child whose divine nature would be revealed by a dove, and who would gather a group of followers and perform many wondrous miracles: the Blessed Voltron Mary. Yeah, apparently the whole "be not afraid" stuff happened to her first, but don't worry. Jesus gets his own unique adventures in tami..."
- 19:01, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,434 N MACCABEES Created page with "==Show Notes== Chag samaeach, Theophiloi! It's Hanukkah time once again, and for 5781, we're diving back into the dynasty of God's resisters with MACCABEES — and this time, it's about family. Join us as we go through some truly grotesque and graphic descriptions of torture in what is essentially Green Eggs & Ham meets Hostel. It's... maybe not the best way to celebrate a gift-giving holiday, but, well, we didn't write it. Also: Olive Garden, stop reading. Applebee's......"
- 19:01, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,238 N The Blessed Voltrons Created page with "==Show Notes== Advent continues apace, Theophiloi, and we're celebrating with two of the most famous and popular lady saints, St. Barbara and St. Catherine! Babs and Cathy are here to visit total ruination upon the devil (who, sadly, does not actually appear in these stories) using explosions of various sizes. I'm not gonna lie, it gets a little grim, but c'mon. You know how most saints became saints by now, right? Topics of discussion: Quibbling with Martinmas, Advent..."
- 19:00, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,415 N Filling the Room Created page with "==Show Notes== If you thought the Song of Solomon was going to be a tough one for us to get through with our "Clean" tag intact, Theophiloi, brace yourselves for the Life of St. Martin. With a translation that almost has to be purposefully nasty, we're kicking off Advent with the 100% true and factual story of Martin of Tours, the saint who cured the sick, raised the dead, and ruined at least one funeral. Plus: the Devil! Like... a lot of the Devil! Topics of Discussion..."
- 19:00, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,494 N Lazer Babies Created page with "==Show Notes== Happy Halloween, DRACULA-philoi, and pre-SCARE to have your sins counted as we descend once more into HELL! Specifically the Hell described in the Apocalypse of Simon "The Rock" Peter, in which everyone's favorite teen apostle describes the many punishments that await sinners of varying quality in the afterlife. Let BOO-nito SCREAM-o and CRYPTS Sims (should've thought of that one for the show) guide you on a harrowing journey full of ironic punishments and..."
- 18:59, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,459 N Howl of the Ostrich Created page with "==Show Notes== If you've ever read Bible and thought "hey, this is great but I wish it had dudes just unleashing straight metaphorical fire on workers of iniquity," then allow your humble Sons of Thunder to introduce you to Micah and Nahum. What these two prophets lack in verbosity, they more than make up for in sheer scorching anger. Just wait'll you get to Nahum 3:19, Theophiloi. It's wild. (Note: There's a stretch in this episode where Chris sounds like he's recording..."
- 18:59, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,396 N Be Courageous! Created page with "==Show Notes== Happy New Year, Theophiloi! That's right, it's Rosh Hashanah time, and we are 100% Done In 5781™. Also done? Joshua, whose journey to become the second Moses is going to take him down the path of mass murders and detailed land allotments, which is basically what the entire Old Testament is if you really get down to it. Get ready to break down the walls and Be Courageous, because we've got some neck-steppin' to do! It's the podcast that you can still hear..."
- 18:59, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,341 N Cold Brew Paul Created page with "==Show Notes== One half of your humble Sons of Thunder is joining you from real-for-real quarantine, dear Theophiloi, but that won't stop us from griping our way through our first canonical New Testament book of this calendar year. What might stop us is Mr. Paul in prime form, declaring himself to know more about Jesus than anyone on Earth or in Heaven, but we try to get through it in an episode that could perhaps best be described as "adversarial." On the other hand, we..."
- 18:58, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,294 N Approximate Week Chapter 3: Parabellum Created page with "==Show Notes== If you seek birthdays, Theophiloi, prepare for war — the War Scroll, that is! As we celebrate the Approximate Week between our two personal nativities, we dive into the Dead Sea Scrolls for the first time to find out all about the best of seven series between the Sons of Light and the Sons of Darkness. Please note that these Sons of Light are not, like, half-angels or whatever, but they do write some extremely dope things on their swords. Topics of Disc..."
- 18:58, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,475 N Two Firkin Bored Created page with "==Show Notes== Having trouble sleeping, Theophiloi? Well here's an evangelion for you: this episode covers a letter written by the most boring person to ever cover a miracle. Get ready for intense table measurements, detailed MapQuest directions to Judea circa 250 BCE, and some day one philosophy class nonsense. It's the thrilling story of the Septuagint and the curse upon those who would alter it, which is mentioned maybe once in a document that is roughly eight thousan..."
- 18:57, 7 December 2021 diff hist +376 N Secret 69 Created page with "==Show Notes== Benito goes solo in this secret bonus episode covering a text so gross that Chris has expressly forbidden it from ever appearing on the show. SO DON'T TELL CHRIS. I tried to capture the spontaneity of the regular show, so I did this all in one take; please forgive the Discord alerts I couldn't figure out how to turn off and my cats fighting in the background."
- 18:57, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,643 N Thirst Corinthians Created page with "==Show Notes== Under normal circumstances, Theophiloi, ladytype saints tend to become so by not having any adult fun at all and then calling Jesus lightning down on man-eating seals or exploding and teleporting their way out of a tower. For Episode Nice, however, we're covering two women who took things in the opposite direction by having all the adult fun they possibly could and then chilling out once they were finished. Believe it or not, they have way more agency in t..."
- 18:56, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,733 N Scent of a Jesus Created page with "==Show Notes== Welcome to your Not-So-Dirty Thirties, Theophiloi! For as it is written, in the New Jerusalem, we will all be at the age where it's time to start thinking about getting an IRA, and realizing that we can't stay up drinking like we used to do... forever. This is one of the many strange things we learn in our set of three dubiously Johannine Apocalypses brought to us by New Testament Apocrypha Vol. 2, brought to us by translators Rick Brannan, Rebecca Draugho..."
- 18:56, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,576 N Bad Things to Call Your Mother Created page with "==Show Notes== Having a bad day, Theophiloi? I mean, yes, of course you are, we all are in These Unprecedented Times. But hey, let's look on the bright side! At least angels aren't poking out your eyes, cutting out your tongue, and breaking your tablet, like they did with Judas. That's what Bartholomew told us, anyway, and believe it or not, it's nowhere near the weirdest beef in his eponymously apocryphal Book Of. Join us as Death and all his kids get thoroughly dunked..."
- 18:56, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,380 N JeSuS With Two Cool Ses Created page with "==Show Notes== Pack your bags, Theophiloi, because we're going on a trip to India with Thomas, the Second Christ, who works hard and flays harder. Thanks to Dr. Tony Burke and his new book, New Testament Apocrypha Volume 2, hitting shelves this summer, we're taking a look at one of the weirder apostolic adventures, translated for the new book by Janet Spittler and Jonathan Holste. That ol' doubter Thomas is out to spread the word, and believe us, he's got skin in the gam..."
- 18:55, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,452 N Adonai is Ichiban! Created page with "==Show Notes== Can you believe we're stuck in this elevator together, Theophiloi? I guess there's nothing we can do but pass the time with the clip show episode of Torah while we wait for the power to come back on. Join us as Deuteronomy offers up a bunch of stuff we've already read, and a record YPP score (yikes per page). We gotta eat the vegetables before we get to Judges, folks. Topics of discussion: Benito's completely buck wild choice of a favorite candy seriously..."
- 18:55, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,335 N Spiritual Warfare Is Good, Actually Created page with "==Show Notes== It's our Nintendo 64th episode, Theophiloi, so we're taking a break from our usual Book study to dive into the least canonical Bible-adjace content we can! Not approved by the church, not approved by Nintendo of America, and barely approved by the LifeWay Christian Store, it's the extremely dubious catalogue of "Biblical" video games by Wisdom Tree. Join us as we spend a Sunday Funday waging Spiritual Warfare on some Bible Adventures. Don't forget Baby Mos..."
- 18:54, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,615 N Wist Not To Whom Ne Whither Created page with "==Show Notes== You know who doesn't come off very well in Bible, Theophiloi? Dogs. This week, though, our canine pals get a little bit of redemption as we dive into the hagiographies of two sterling examples of Son of Man's Best Friend! Join us for the very official St. Roche "Pronounced Rock" Johnson and his li'l buddy Breadstick (patron saint of dogs) and the extremely disavowed St. Guinefort (patron saint of actually being a dog for real). Be warned: the dog does die..."
- 18:54, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,455 N Oh, the Jews' Manatees! Created page with "==Show Notes== One thing you have to say for the Book of Numbers, Theophiloi: it is exactly what it says in the title. Well, most of it is, anyway. Mixed in with all the census totals and step-by-step MapQuest directions to the Promised Land, though, is some truly wild stuff, including the return of one of our favorite Biblical tropes, the talking animal that no one seems to think is odd in the slightest. Join us, but make sure to brace yourself for a whole lot of skante..."
- 18:54, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,632 N Countless Large Gregs Created page with "==Show Notes== Happy Apocryphersary, Theophiloi! It's our show's second approximate birthday and it also just happens to be Big Boy Season. we're celebrating both with our annual tradition of checking in with Enoch, one of two prophets that God liked so much that he brought him directly to Heaven to hang out with a bunch of on fire eye wheels for 3,000 years before anyone else got there. And yes, this is definitely Heaven. It's absolutely, definitely Heaven. Trust us, it..."
- 18:53, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,256 N Joses Crust Created page with "==Show Notes== We're all having an extremely normal time right now, Theophiloi, but it always pays to remember that it could be worse. You could, for example, be Andrew, first called to be a disciple of the Lord Jesus, who was then sent to do a bunch of murders and be tortured in the City of the Man-Eaters. Or you could be Matthias, about whom nothing is known other than that he had to pretend to think he was a cow for about a month. Listen in this week as your humble So..."
- 18:53, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,244 N Source of the Flow Created page with "==Show Notes== Time to eat the vegetables, Theophiloi. After nearly two years of putting it off, we finally lay down the law with Leviticus, and scramble desperately to make a few jokes before we wind up thoroughly exhausted. It's not even the parts you know about that do it! It's the four chapters about skin care! Just go to Lush! Plus, a bitter argument about the weather that will ultimately destroy the show. Is this the end of the Apocrypals? Topics of discussion: En..."
- 18:52, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,212 N Blaise, Your Dead Homie Created page with "==Show Notes== Cough up that fishbone and tighten up your bowstrings, Theophiloi, because it's time to dive into a trio of hagiographies from our boy JDV and the Golden Legend. Join us as we commemorate February with a look at the ever-penetrated St. Sebastian, #1 pig recovery specialist St. Blaise, and the iron-willed patron of bellmakers, St. Agatha! Since we provide all the details of their martyrdom, I think we're technically a true crime podcast now, so increase you..."
- 18:52, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,346 N We Holy Ghost, Bro? Created page with "==Show Notes== Wizards! Talking lions! Armies of demons! Dudes just straight getting wrecked in the face! Truly it can be said, Theophiloi: this one has it all. Join us as we recount the lives and conduct of the holy women in their swashbuckling adventure that was definitely not written by Mr. Paul. Also, we talk about what Jesus would be like if He was in Smash Bros., which takes up about fifteen minutes and is basically the entire premise of this show. Topics of Discu..."
- 18:51, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,104 N Welcome to the Bone Zone Created page with "==Show Notes== Welcome back, Theophiloi, to the truly disconcerting rantings of the hair-throwing, scroll-eating mad lad himself, Ezekiel! In this episode, we go to extremes, as Ezekiel offers up the most brütal horror movie prophecies for the iniquitous nations, and then takes a hard right turn into intensely specific blueprints for his visionary construction project. If you've ever wanted to know how prophets make their money, this is the episode that reveals all. To..."
- 18:51, 7 December 2021 diff hist +849 N The Parable of the Sexy Blood Baby Created page with "==Show Notes== Let me ask you a question, Theophiloi: why prophets so nasty? In this episode, we put our treasured No Cusses rule in the greatest danger as we dive into the violent and upsettingly horny visions of Ezekiel, last of the major prophets. This absolute scroll-eating mad lad has a whole list of unsavory activities and breads that he wants to tell you about in detail. Don't listen to this one with your mom. Topics of discussion: The Greenlit Podcast Network, A..."
- 18:51, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,096 N Our Favorite Murders Created page with "==Show Notes== Merry Christmas, Theophiloi! It's the most wonderful time of the year, where we gather to celebrate the birth of Jesus, which subsequently led to several horrible crimes that terrorized his hometown for years. Plus: our actual last-minute holiday gift guide! Topics of discussion: Benito's trip to Germany, the nature of Christkindl, Christmas Prince power rankings, the Karen and Georgia of a far less successful podcast, a Christmas present from the Canonip..."
- 18:50, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,052 N Maccabees 3: Elephant Drift Created page with "==Show Notes== Happy Hanukkah, Theophiloi, and welcome back to the action-packed saga of the Dynasty of God's Resisters! Ptolemy (not that one, the one who loves daddy) is causing some trouble in Alexandria, and by trouble, we mean a mass execution via 500 drunk elephants. This book rules. Plus: our hopefully not offensive suggestions for new Hanukkah traditions! Will Judith bring you a fancy pen on her way to her next beheading? We hope so! Topics of discussion: Dreide..."
- 18:50, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,203 N Apocrypals Chris And Benito Created page with "==Show Notes== [Note: This episode is also called "Second 51".] CONTENT WARNING: This week's book deals with some pretty depressing ideas, which leads us to discuss depression and, briefly, suicide. Absolute futility, Theophiloi. That's what we're dealing with this week as we dive into the dark horse candidate for our favorite book of Bible so far: Solomon/Koholet's extremely grim treatise on depression and why the living should envy the dead. It's a lot more lighthear..."
- 18:49, 7 December 2021 diff hist 0 Episode List
- 18:49, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,152 N Jesus, Buffy Created page with "==Show Notes== It's the spookiest day of the year, TheAWFULoi, and your humble Sons of ThUNDEAD are back at it with a deep dive into our least canonical selection: the evangelizing comic book tracts of Jack T. Chick. Join us as we discuss the dubious, hateful, and distressingly widely read stories that are designed to drag you kicking and screaming into a very specific version of salvation on this, the Devil's Birthday. Haw haw haw! Topics of discussion: Halloween plans..."
- 18:49, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,221 N The TERF of Babylon Created page with "==Show Notes== It's our 50th episode, Theophiloi, and that means it's time to get Apocalyptic! Join us as we embark on an extra-sized episode covering the fever dreams of Johnny Patmo. Witness the opening of the Seven Seals, hear the sounding of seven trumpets, and debate over we are currently pre-apocalyptic, apocalyptic, post-apocalyptic, or post-post-apocalyptic. It's not as depressing as it sounds! Listen and be astonished! Topics of discussion: Shofar show good, Ro..."
- 18:48, 7 December 2021 diff hist +949 N Wajesus Created page with "==Show Notes== Brace yourselves, Theophiloi, because this episode is a Triple-Epistle! (Tripistle?) Your humble Sons of Thunder are taking on not one, not two, but all three of the extremely short Johannine Epistles, in which we discover that a dude who once offered to burn down an entire city for Jesus, was actually way more chill than Mr. Paul. Quelle surprise. Plus: two solid minutes of us laughing at our own jokes about Ninja Warrior. Topics of discussion: the weird..."
- 18:48, 7 December 2021 diff hist +721 N The Almighty Ambush Bear Created page with "==Show Notes== Spoiler warning, Theophiloi, but it turns out that the Book of Lamentations is, in fact, actually a straight up book just full of lamentations. Jeremiah is back and surprisingly less wordy, so join us as we try to goof our way through this very depressing book about God putting hard times on Jerusalem circa 586 BCE. Plus: the complete New Testament Rap! Topics of discussion: A very confrontational installment of the Correctional Confessional, Gotta Get Th..."
- 18:47, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,155 N Approximate Week II: The Quickening Created page with "==Show Notes== You're invited to the holiest eight nights of the Apocrypals calendar, dear Theophiloi! It's Approximate Week, aka our mutual birthday! if you're looking for a gift, we have a recommendation for you: how about a nice cold glass of Messiah Boy Bath Water? Join us as we celebrate with another buck wild Infancy Gospel, in which the Son of Man deals with naked women throwing rocks in cemeteries, an eligible bachelor who is temporarily endonkeyed, and his Earth..."
- 18:47, 7 December 2021 diff hist +930 N CTRL-Z On A Murder Created page with "==Show Notes== Listen at your own risk, Theophiloi, for this is our most curséd episode yet! We lost our first recording, our second only made it six minutes in, and our third... Well, at this point we're just hoping it's not a real FDS (Final Destination Situation). Either way, we've got a good one in the Acts of John, the apocryphal adventures of an Apostle who resurrected his way through various horrible sex crimes. Plus: Was John a dog? Like, literally? Topics of d..."
- 18:46, 7 December 2021 diff hist 0 Episode List
- 18:46, 7 December 2021 diff hist +905 N Mummy Dust and Skeleton Bones Created page with "==Show Notes== Hey Theophiloi, good news/bad news. About eight minutes into the recording, Chris's Good Microphone stopped working and so we did an hour of the show with Chris sounding like he was trapped in a hole. The good news is that we have a very good text this week: the Book of Ruth, Bible's greatest saga of wheat farming and sapphic subtext! Plus: We angle hard for that Fig Newton sponsorship. What's good, Nabisco? Topics of discussion: A thorough examination of..."
- 18:46, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,036 N Terms and Conditions Created page with "==Show Notes== The boys are back in town, Theophiloi, and we've got some breaking news: it seems the Kingdom of Judah has broken its covenant with the Lord of Hosts and will be punished with sword, famine, and plague! Seems like pretty exciting stuff, until the 30th time you've been through it, which is pretty much Jeremiah in a nutshell. Join us as we finish out the longest book in the Bible (and hopefully our longest gap between episodes), won't you? Topics of discuss..."
- 18:45, 7 December 2021 diff hist +950 N Why Prophets So Nasty? Created page with "==Show Notes== Well, Theophiloi, it's been a hot minute, but we're back once again with the first half of Jeremiah, which is both the longest book in Bible and also the most unnecessarily long. Here, we'll save you some time: "God's mad." There, you have now read Jeremiah. If you want a more in-depth discussion of how metal this book can get, though, listen in for shattering destruction, and fields just chock full o' bones! Plus: the return of Rough Chuckles. Topics of..."
- 18:45, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,017 N The Roasting of the Apostle Paul Created page with "==Show Notes== Hello, Theophiloi and Cheerful Givers! Looking for a nice way to relax, chill out, and maybe even fall asleep? Good news: we've got the book for you. Our old nemesis St. Paul is back with a second letter to the church at Corinth, and pal, it is a snooze... right up until he starts talking about Super-Apostles and how he was beaten with sticks. After that, it gets pretty wild, so do your best to stay awake through the whole thing. Plus, the one piece of the..."
- 18:44, 7 December 2021 diff hist +858 N Neo-Mary Is About To E X P L O D E Created page with "==Show Notes== Happy Easter, Theophiloi! He is risen indeed! It's definitely still Easter, so we're back with the Questions of Bartholomew, and friends, let me tell you: he is not the only one with some questions. Join us as Jesus reveals mysteries that are so scary they will literally make you die just from seeing them. We hope hearing about them is a bit less lethal. Topics of Discussion: Hellstorm: Son of Satan, handy iconography of St. Nicholas of Myra, man-capes, S..."
- 18:44, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,002 N Devil Got a Hog Created page with "==Show Notes== Happy Holy Week, Theophiloi! If you're like your humble Son of Thunder and his friend the Author of All Lies, you have a keen interest in space. If that's the case, then you're going to love learning some new facts about the Sun and Moon as we dive into the second half of the Book of Enoch! Also, we really hope you like calendars, because there's about 20 pages of that in here too, but trust us: it's worth it for what comes after. Plus: A tale of Noah when..."
- 18:43, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,125 N Rain is Boy Water Created page with "==Show Notes== Happy Apocryphersary, Theophiloi! To celebrate one year of the show, we're launching into one of our most requested texts: the apocalyptic, hallucinatory, and profoundly influential Book of Enoch. Written about 200 years or so after the beginning of time, this story follows a prophet who was so cool that God just took him up to heaven (or possibly the planet Krypton) so that they could hang out for eternity. Get ready for thirsty angels, crystal houses, an..."
- 18:43, 7 December 2021 diff hist +940 N Sword Drill Online Created page with "==Show Notes== Break out the birthday cake, Theophiloi, because as of this show, we've officially been at this for one full year! We're celebrating by pushing the Guessatron 5000 to its limits with a Bible Trivia Quiz to see if we (ie Chris) have learned anything from our year of book study. Play along and try not to yell at your phone too loud when you know the answer and Chris doesn't. Topics of discussion: The Complete Book of Bible Trivia by J. Steven Lang, most of..."
- 18:42, 7 December 2021 diff hist +874 N Bigger Esther Created page with "==Show Notes== Get ready to put on your costume, give money to the poor, and get tore up from the floor up, Theophiloi, because it's Purim time! Join us for the story of Esther, a uniquely God-free entry into Bible about a beautiful queen outfoxing Haman (BOOOO!) to the point where he gets severely impaled. It's a good one. Topics of discussion: a Lent Madness update, St. Joseph's Day, some bitterness about an old job, the Jewish Hero Corps, Ruth : Wheat :: Esther : Imp..."
- 18:42, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,118 N GRAZACHAM! Created page with "==Show Notes== Top o' the mornin' to ye, Theophiloi! In honor of his verdant feast day, we're taking a look at the life of Saint Patrick! Witness as he comes out of his cage and does just fine bringing Christianity to the pagan isle of Ireland. You will erhaps be shocked by the fact that there are zero (0) mentions of snakes or shamrocks, but we do have the return of all of our favorite Bible traditions: explosions, wizard battles, were-foxes, all that stuff. Plus: one o..."
- 18:41, 7 December 2021 diff hist 0 Episode List
- 18:41, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,344 N Down in the Donkey Hole Created page with "==Show Notes== Take heed, Theophiloi, because we have some intense and highly specific requirements for your upcoming tabernacle construction this week. That's right: we've wandered out of the narrative section of Exodus and into the part that's mostly about how much the Lord loves acacia wood, with a few extremely famous events strewn among it for good measure. Moses has an exceptionally long conversation at the top of Mount Sinai and we go from "yikes" to "YIKES!" as w..."
- 18:40, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,054 N Thorn Bushes and Pushups Created page with "==Show Notes== Happy Valentine's Day, Theophiloi, and might I just say, you're looking good today. Hair like goats, teeth like sheep, just dripping with myrrh... yes, all your parts are in very sexy condition. What's that? Why yes, we have been taking a few tips from Bible's greatest romantic, King Solomon the Demon-Queller! He's here with his sensual mixtape and we're going through it track by track as we take on the Song of Songs! Plus: a brief non-history of St. Valen..."
- 18:40, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1 Thicc Darkness →=Show Notes
- 18:40, 7 December 2021 diff hist +945 N Thicc Darkness Created page with "==Show Notes= Get your shoes on and don't you dare leaven that bread, Theophiloi, because it's time to dive into the Book of Exodus! In this episode, we cover the first 18 chapters, including Moses's surprisingly violent origin story, 7+3 plagues, and Pharaoh's many, many ill-advised decisions. Plus, the ultimate #passoverhack: tacos. Topics of discussion: Candlemas, LentMadness.org, Mary of Bethany v. Martha of Bethany: Dawn of Saintliness, the Main Dude of Judaism, Go..."
- 18:39, 7 December 2021 diff hist +860 N Return of the Twelve-Foot Volcel Lion Created page with "==Show Notes== Just so you know, Theophiloi, both of us have definitely read the Book of Exodus, as planned. Definitely. Especially me. Remember Pharaoh? And how about that Moses, huh? Anyway, this week, we're taking a break from scripture to answer your listener questions! Plus: the Renowned Jester of the Lord! Topics of discussion: What surprised us about Bible, what we're worried about covering, further reading, disciples smooching and/or playing D&D, the Armor of Go..."
- 18:39, 7 December 2021 diff hist +912 N Yartzed Upon a Distant Shore Created page with "==Show Notes== Greetings, Theophiloi, from your ever-punctual Sons of Thunder! We're back this week to answer the question of whether we can talk for an hour about exactly four pages (and 47 verses) of Bible. It's the famous story of a guy who has to live inside a whale for three days and then gets dunked on by God because he's a real grumpy boy. Join us for Jonah, won't you? Topics of discussion: Excuses excuses, New Year's but for trees, the official End of Christmas,..."
- 18:38, 7 December 2021 diff hist +924 N Apples and Oranges Created page with "==Show Notes== We're back for 2019, and on the off chance that we didn't have enough of them already, get ready for a couple new Johns. Specifically, we're celebrating Epiphany with Of Hildesheim's 14th-century book on the Legend of the Three Kings, which also introduces us to Prester. How weird is this one? Well, Chris highlighted an entire page from top to bottom, so believe us, it's a rollercoaster. Plus: Li'l Fat Jesus!!!! Topics of discussion: Benito getting yelled..."
- 18:38, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,187 N These Apocryphal Ravings Created page with "==Show Notes== Mary Christmas, Theophiloi! Normally at this time of year, you get a nice little reading from Luke about being sore afraid and wishing peace on Earth and goodwill to men. Unfortunately, we already covered that one, so we're bringing you the birth of Christ as you've never heard it before with the Infancy Gospel of James. We learn all about Mary's origin, in which she was Rapunzeled for thirteen years and then handed off to a very confused local carpenter...."
- 18:37, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,332 N Second Maccabees Second Furious Created page with "==Show Notes== So long Hanukkah and Hello Advent, Theophiloi! It's your humble Sons of Thunder on 2018's best podcast for news about Ahikar and St. Thecla's conflict with man-eating seals, and before we close out the Festival of Lights, we're going all in with 2 Maccabees. Things get buck wild as we hear about Judah Maccabee's exploits once again, now with roughly 1,000% more ghost warriors and magic swords. Seriously, this is the most action-packed part of Bible we have..."
- 18:37, 7 December 2021 diff hist +999 N The Book of the Dynasty of God's Resisters Created page with "==Show Notes== Chag sameach, Theophiloi! It's Hanukkah times, so we're diving into One Maccabees to learn the story of the Festival of Lights, and also get 16 full chapters of Jews just beating the ever-loving sugar out of everyone in the Levant. Light that Hanukkiah, sharpen that sword, and get ready for the most action-packed piece of Bible, ever. Plus, our suggestions for adding Judith and Matzoh-rella sticks to your holiday celebrations! Topics of discussion: Holida..."
- 18:36, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,024 N Some Other Christmas Man Created page with "==Show Notes== So uh, if this episode gets a little weird, it's probably because the hosts, two comic book writers, found out that Stan Lee died about halfway through it. But tragedies great and small won't stop us from learning about love, and also some extremely misogynistic rules about who gets to talk in church as Paul dashes off yet another letter! That's right, y'all, it's time for Rinthies, so let's get patient and kind up in this piece! Plus: do Paul's RTs = endo..."
- 18:36, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,024 N One Rinthies, Baby Created page with "==Show Notes== So uh, if this episode gets a little weird, it's probably because the hosts, two comic book writers, found out that Stan Lee died about halfway through it. But tragedies great and small won't stop us from learning about love, and also some extremely misogynistic rules about who gets to talk in church as Paul dashes off yet another letter! That's right, y'all, it's time for Rinthies, so let's get patient and kind up in this piece! Plus: do Paul's RTs = endo..."
- 18:36, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,209 N Butt Stuff Dragon Created page with "==Show Notes== Get ready for HAINTS AND SAINTS, Theophiloi! It's Halloween and things are getting wild spooky up in here as we diver into the testament of Solomon, a very wise man who likes two things: glorifying God and forcing demons to do menial labor. Meet several new costume options that you certainly won't have to spend all night explaining, including Ornias, Beelzeboul, Onoskelis, Astaroth, the 36 Elements of the Cosmic Ruler of the Darkness, our old pal Asmodeus,..."
- 16:55, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,113 N Dunking on Satan Created page with "==Show Notes== PIECES be with you, Theophil-OOZE, and get ready for the first installment of our two-part HELLoween SCAREtacular! This week, we're descending into HELL! And, uh, it's not actually that scary in the traditional sense, although the antisemitism of early Christian writings brings its own brand of horror. Either way, it's our long-awaited discussion of the Harrowing of Hell! Plus, an untold tale of Jesus's magic emotion-changing clothes! Topics of discussion..."
- 16:52, 7 December 2021 diff hist +971 N Ocean's Two Created page with "==Show Notes== Get ready, Theophiloi, because it's time for a tightly plotted heist story about our favorite Deuterocanonical heroine, Judith! We'll be heading into a slice of the Apocrypha with some sharp commentary that cuts right to the good stuff. Get to listening, chop chop! Plus: Some very good and suggestions for improving Hanukkah that you can implement in your own celebrations! Topics of discussion: The ironies (all of them), Doubting Tomax, a prelude to Martin..."
- 16:52, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,225 N Biblerella Created page with "==Show Notes== Watch out, Theophiloi -- we've got some high voltage coming your way as we dive into the apocryphal Acts of Paul and Thecla. For the first time, we have a real female protagonist who has agency... to the extreme. Join us for an astounding piece of Biblical fanfic, a discussion of why Thecla was left out of the canon (hint: thousands of years of entrenched misogyny), and get ready to be thirsty for virtue when you meet your new favorite semi-Biblical figure..."
- 16:30, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,128 N MBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBaM Created page with "==Show Notes== It's finally time, Theophiloi, for us to finish our exhausting journey through the extremely bizarre Book of Genesis! This week, it's the life of Joseph and his Completely Ordinary Long-Sleeved Dream Robe! The Golden Age Daniel (aka the Lord of Dreams) closes out the book with a surprisingly cohesive narrative that teaches us the solution to all of life's problems: throw it in a hole. It's the final 13 of 50 verses of people making bad moves! Join us, won'..."
- 16:29, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,257 N Literally and Figuratively Wrestling With God Created page with "==Show Notes== Content Warning: We cover the story of Dinah in this episode, which involves a sexual assault. Shanah Tovah, Theophiloi, and welcome back to what we're pretty sure is the world's only Bible podcast! We're kicking off 5779 with the third part of our increasingly unwieldy discussion of Genesis. This week, the Lentil Stew Boys are back for hijinx as we cover the lives of Jacob and Esau, and give you a shofar performance that critics are already hailing as "w..."
- 16:27, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,551 N Five Gallons of Bread Created page with "==Show Notes== We've got a content warning on this one: This section of Genesis includes some very famous instances of homophobia, sexual assault, and incest. Keep that in mind if you plan on listening this week. Join us, Theophiloi, as we continue our journey through Genesis. The first of the Pentateuch continues to be challenging as we move into the life of Abraham and find things that are even weirder than we got with Adam, Eve, and Noah. Join us for the many instanc..."
- 16:22, 7 December 2021 diff hist +2,516 N Doamurder, West Virginia Created page with "==Show Notes== Ever wonder why we have anxiety, Theophiloi? Perhaps it's because we're sitting down to examine and/or make goofs about the extremely well-known foundational text of at least three major world religions. That's right, y'all: it's our longest episode yet, featuring the genesis of the beginning of Genesis. This week: Chapters 1 through 11, covering Adam and Eve, Cain and Abel, Noah's Ark , and other stories that you probably know very well, assuming you reme..."
- 16:20, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1 An Approximate Week →=Show Notes
- 16:20, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,832 N An Approximate Week Created page with "==Show Notes= Happy birthday! To you, possibly, to us, definitely, as today (August 12) is Chris's birthday, and Benito's (August 20) is quickly following! To celebrate, we're taking a break from Bible Times to hit up the middle ages and Jacobus de Voragine's The Golden Legend. Join us as we learn about our namesake saints (namesaints), St. Christopher and St. Benedict. One is a gigantic werewolf and the other hates being horny. Just friggin' hates it. It's not a competi..."
- 16:19, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,110 N The Boy-Related Eagle Plan Created page with "==Show Notes== Get out of the cistern and cut your nails, Theophiloi, because it's time for a brand new episode! Join us as we take on the extremely apocryphal book of Ahikar, Tobit's maybe nephew. This leads us to the biggest fight we've ever had on the show, which is about whether the Pharaoh's riddle contest is actually a riddle contest or not (it's not, but the eagle boys are pretty dope). Topics of discussion: A debate over the premise of the show that sends Chris'..."
- 16:16, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,633 N Bonus Goat Created page with "==Show Notes== We are back, Theophiloi! After a bona fide Act of God, we've returned to read the capital-A Apocryphal Book of Tobit, and it is a wild one. Join us for the most canonical of the non-canonical books, in which we find out exactly why you shouldn't go to sleep under a wall, what fish parts you need if you do, and meet an ironically prudish demon and an angel who's cool but rude. Plus: What happens if we find a brand new book of the Bible, autographed by God?..."
- 16:15, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,649 N Whomst Was At the Tombst? Created page with "==Show Notes== Okay, Theophiloi, let's get this clear right now: Roy Thomas was the second editor-in-chief of Marvel after Stan Lee, and is often considered to have been the first comics creator to make the leap from fan to pro, so yeah, he's basically Luke. Hope that clears it all up. Now that that's done, break off a hunk of traitor bread and join us as we finally finish with the canonical gospels! This week: the back half of the Gospel of John, aka the Gospel of Travi..."
- 16:15, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,892 N 90s Vertigo Jesus Created page with "==Show Notes== Oh h*ck yeah! Your hosts done done it again, y'all: we goofed around and talked a whole lot about the Gospel of John. You'd think after going through this stuff four times, we'd be a little more efficient, but no. It turns out that there have been centuries of debate focused entirely on John 1:1, and it goes like you'd expect from there. Join us on the first part of our journey through the final canonical gospel (and by far the weirdest) as we meet a new a..."
- 16:13, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,322 N The Dude Hates Wizards Created page with "==Show Notes== Congratulations be upon you, Theophiloi (and possibly Apocryphinos)! We hope you're ready for some Johnny Bapto content, because that's what we have a lot of this time around, as we go into the Gospel of Luke! Bear witness to the Sermon on the Plain, the Seven Deadly Enemies of Man, and pure unbridled hatred for wizards, the rich, and, presumably, rich wizards. Plus, Chris solves the synoptic problem once and for all. You're welcome. Topics of discussion:..."
- 16:11, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,318 N Simon Peter's Sweet Sixteen Created page with "==Show Notes== A question for you, Theophiloi: How many times would you like to listen to us go through the Gospel of Matthew? As many as... seven times? Well, you'll have to settle for two, as this week finds us finally getting into scripture. Join us here at Skull Mountain Baptist Church as we ghost ride the whip into Jerusalem, strain out gnats, gulp down camels, and celebrate the birthday of everyone's favorite dimwitted Apostle, Teen Peter. Topics of discussion: Ba..."
- 16:10, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,302 N What's Up, Doctor Goodacre Created page with "==Show Notes== Congratulations be upon you, Theophiloi! So remember how last week, we had our longest episode ever? Well, your boys done did it again. We went so deep into the Gospel of Matthew that we wound up recording for well over two hours, which means it's time for our very first two-part episode! Join us as we go about 40 minutes before we actually get into scripture, largely because we're busy talking about hypothetical gospels, reviewing the major motion picture..."
- 16:05, 7 December 2021 diff hist +5 Neon Genesis Good News →Show Notes
- 16:05, 7 December 2021 diff hist +30 Fresh Prince of Beliar →Show Notes
- 16:03, 7 December 2021 diff hist +30 On the Road to Rome →Show Notes
- 16:03, 7 December 2021 diff hist +30 Wittgenstein's Monster →Show Notes
- 16:02, 7 December 2021 diff hist +30 Various Heresies →Show Notes
- 15:55, 7 December 2021 diff hist +5 I've Been To My Share of Pizza Parties →Show Notes
- 15:54, 7 December 2021 diff hist +4 Porky Party →Show Notes
- 15:54, 7 December 2021 diff hist +5 One Weird Trick
- 15:54, 7 December 2021 diff hist +26 One Weird Trick
- 15:52, 7 December 2021 diff hist +25 Porky Party →Show Notes
- 15:52, 7 December 2021 diff hist +25 I've Been To My Share of Pizza Parties →Show Notes
- 15:52, 7 December 2021 diff hist +25 Neon Genesis Good News
- 15:50, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,614 N Neon Genesis Good News Created page with "==Show Notes== "When the scribes of the Pharisees saw that He was eating with sinners and tax collectors, they asked His disciples, 'why does He eat with tax collectors and sinners?' When Jesus heard this, He told them 'Those who are well don't need a doctor, but the sick do need one. I didn't come to call the righteous, but sinners.'" -- The Gospel of Mark, 2:16-17 Gird thyself, Theophiloi, for our longest episode to date as we dive into the Gospel of Mark and its myst..."
- 15:49, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,239 N Fresh Prince of Beliar Created page with "==Show Notes== "And Isaiah answered and said 'So far as I have utterance, damned and accused be thou and all thy powers and all thy house, for thou canst not take from me aught save the skin of my body.' And they siezed and sawed in sunder Isaiah the son of Amoz with a wooden saw." -- The Ascension of Isaiah, 5:9-11. Here's a question for you, Theophiloi: How do you get rid of a prophet who won't stop sitting on your bed in the nude with 50 of his closest friends? The a..."
- 15:49, 7 December 2021 diff hist +973 N On the Road to Rome Created page with "==Show Notes== "Therefore, any one of you who judges is without excuse, for when you judge another, you condemn yourself, since you, the judge, do the same things. We know that God's judgment on those who do such things is based on the truth. Do you really think any one of you who judges those who do such things yet do the same, that you will escape God's judgment?" -- Romans 2:3 Hello, Theophiloi! We, Chris and Benito, faithful servants of the podcasting game, called t..."
- 15:48, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,025 N Wittgenstein's Monster Created page with "==Show Notes== "Woe to those that are wise in their own opinion and clever in their own sight." -- Isaiah 5:21 Isaiah, the biggest beefiest boy of all the prophets, steps into the spotlight to put our very premise to the test. Can we actually do an episode when there's no real narrative and about 66 chapters of prophecies that require a 45-minute history lesson? U-DECIDE! We dive in for some complicated context, check out the most quotable book of the Bible, and at long..."
- 15:46, 7 December 2021 diff hist +15 Various Heresies
- 15:46, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,298 N Various Heresies Created page with ""Go, say unto Simon: Peter, because of whom thou fleddest out of Judaea, waiteth for thee at the door." -- The Acts of Peter, Chapter IV Join us this week as we dive into the apocryphal Acts of Peter and Acts of Peter and Paul for the daring return of the Bad Samaritan himself, the Father of All Heresies, the man who claims to be Jesus and may actually be Paul, Simon Magus! When our favorite Biblical supervillain shows up, Simon "The Rock" Peter returns to action to rea..."
- 15:44, 7 December 2021 diff hist +59 Friends of the Show →Ben Rowe
- 15:43, 7 December 2021 diff hist 0 Main Page →The show
- 15:43, 7 December 2021 diff hist +249 Main Page
- 15:36, 7 December 2021 diff hist +78 Friends of the Show →Erica Henderson
- 14:04, 7 December 2021 diff hist +37 Shalom Birdie (with David Wolkin)
- 14:03, 7 December 2021 diff hist +38 Friends of the Show →David Wolkin
- 14:03, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,099 N Shalom Birdie (with David Wolkin) Created page with "==Show Notes== This week we're doing something a little different, Theophiloi! Before we finally move on from Genesis, we've invited the Beloved Wolfman, our pal David Wolkin, to talk us through the Torah. He covers his upbringing and work in Jewish education, and the story of a flawed people struggling with a very confusing God. Plus: the potentially devastating academic consequences of eating at IHOP and answers to your listener questions. Topics of discussion: The J..."
- 14:01, 7 December 2021 diff hist +62 Friends of the Show →David Wolkin
- 13:54, 7 December 2021 diff hist +57 Friends of the Show
- 13:02, 7 December 2021 diff hist +396 Episode List
- 10:40, 7 December 2021 diff hist +1,221 N One Weird Trick Created page with "==Show Notes== Therefore I issue a decree that anyone of any people, nation, or language who says anything offensive against the God of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego will be torn limb from limb and his house made into a garbage dump." -- Daniel 3:29 This week, Benito and Chris take their first foray into the Old Testament, and into the Apocrypha with the Book of Daniel, including the deuterocanonical Prayer of Azariah, Bel and the Dragon, and Susanna. Join us as we di..."
- 10:39, 7 December 2021 diff hist +4 Episode List
- 10:29, 7 December 2021 diff hist +13 MediaWiki:Sidebar
- 10:28, 7 December 2021 diff hist +184 N MediaWiki:Sidebar Created page with " * navigation ** mainpage|mainpage-description ** Episode List ** recentchanges-url|recentchanges ** randompage-url|randompage ** helppage|help-mediawiki * SEARCH * TOOLBOX * LANGUAGES"
- 10:26, 7 December 2021 diff hist +757 N Porky Party Created page with "==Show Notes== "Look, you scoffers, marvel and vanish away, because I am doing a work in your days, a work that you will never believe, even if someone were to explain it to you." — Acts 13:41 Chris and Benito begin their Biblical journey with the sequel to the Gospels. The Holy Ghost Awakens as Peter proves to be pretty hard-line about communism, Paul goes a little too hard in the paint, and we meet our first favorite character in the Book. Topics of discussion: Hol..."
- 10:26, 7 December 2021 diff hist +4 Episode List
- 10:25, 7 December 2021 diff hist +784 N I've Been To My Share of Pizza Parties Created page with "==Show Notes== "Then, even if your beginnings were modest, your final days will be full of prosperity." -- Job 8:7 Welcome to Apocrypals, the podcast where two non-believers read through the Bible, but aren't, you know, jerks about it. Join comic book writers Benito Cereno and Chris Sims as they embark on a complete, non-sequential journey from Acts to Zephaniah, with stops in the Apocrypha along the way. Before we dive into the Good Book, though, we sit down to explai..."
- 10:24, 7 December 2021 diff hist +4 Episode List
- 15:22, 6 December 2021 diff hist +24 Main Page
- 15:21, 6 December 2021 diff hist +87 m Rawest Verses
- 15:15, 6 December 2021 diff hist +10,074 N Rawest Verses Created page with "{| class="wikitable" | Book || Chapter || Verse || Text |- | 1 Maccabees || 2 || 62 || Do not fear the words of sinners, for their splendor will turn into dung and worms. |- | 2 Maccabees || 14 || 45 - 46 || Still alive and aflame with anger, he rose, and though his blood gushed forth and his wounds were severe he ran through the crowd; and standing upon a steep rock, with his blood now completely drained from him, he tore out his entrails, took them in both hands and h..."
- 15:15, 6 December 2021 diff hist +20 Main Page →The show
- 15:01, 6 December 2021 diff hist −63 Main Page
- 12:51, 6 December 2021 diff hist 0 Main Page →The show
- 12:51, 6 December 2021 diff hist 0 m Reading List Jemaleddin moved page Reading list to Reading List without leaving a redirect: title case
- 12:51, 6 December 2021 diff hist 0 Main Page →The show
- 12:51, 6 December 2021 diff hist 0 m Episode List Jemaleddin moved page Episode list to Episode List without leaving a redirect: title case
- 22:25, 4 December 2021 diff hist +76 Benito Cereno
- 17:15, 4 December 2021 diff hist +165 Friends of the Show →jcsflo
- 17:13, 4 December 2021 diff hist +171 Friends of the Show →Ben Rowe
- 17:10, 4 December 2021 diff hist +4 m Glossary →Show Lingo
- 17:09, 4 December 2021 diff hist +109 Glossary →Show Lingo
- 16:56, 4 December 2021 diff hist +145 Glossary →Show Lingo
- 16:55, 4 December 2021 diff hist +402 Glossary
- 16:49, 4 December 2021 diff hist −1 Recommended Podcasts
- 16:49, 4 December 2021 diff hist 0 Recommended Podcasts
- 16:49, 4 December 2021 diff hist −2 Recommended Podcasts
- 16:49, 4 December 2021 diff hist +830 N Recommended Podcasts Created page with "* [https://anchor.fm/throwingsheyd Throwing Sheyd] - Better living through Jewish demonology. * [https://peteenns.com/podcast/ The Bible for Normal People] - The only god-ordained podcast on the Internet. * [https://gnosticwisdom.net/talkgnosis/ Talk Gnosis] - A weekly talk show about gnosticism and related traditions. * [https://weirdchristmas.com Weird Christmas] - All things holly, jolly and odd-ly. * [https://jingle.horse] Hark! - A year-round holiday music review po..."
- 16:41, 4 December 2021 diff hist +112 Reading List
- 16:39, 4 December 2021 diff hist +27 Main Page
- 16:23, 4 December 2021 diff hist +318 N Friends of the Show Created page with "==Erica Henderson== Eisner-award winning comics artist and animator [https://twitter.com/EricaFails Erica Henderson] has produced a number of designs for Apocrypals [https://www.teepublic.com/stores/apocrypals?ref_id=18246&utm_campaign=18246&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_source=Apocrypals Merch]. ==Ben Rowe== ==jcsflo=="
- 16:13, 4 December 2021 diff hist 0 Main Page →The show
- 16:13, 4 December 2021 diff hist 0 Bonus Episodes
- 16:13, 4 December 2021 diff hist +96 Bonus Episodes
- 16:12, 4 December 2021 diff hist +2,968 N Bonus Episodes Created page with "{| class="wikitable" style="vertical-align:top;" ! Episode !! Date !! Title !! Subject !! Source !! Show Notes |- style="vertical-align:top;" | [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xHQHK_SLX8 69 Secret] || 2020-08-28 || Secret 69 || The Greater Questions of Mary || Apocrypha || Benito goes solo in this secret bonus episode covering a text so gross that Chris has expressly forbidden it from ever appearin..."
- 16:12, 4 December 2021 diff hist +19 Episode List
- 16:08, 4 December 2021 diff hist +26 Main Page →The show
- 16:04, 4 December 2021 diff hist +16 Main Page
- 15:41, 4 December 2021 diff hist +521 Episode List
- 15:35, 4 December 2021 diff hist −8 Episode List
- 15:25, 4 December 2021 diff hist +72 Episode List
- 15:22, 4 December 2021 diff hist +8,685 Episode List add links to episodes
- 14:43, 4 December 2021 diff hist +2,915 Episode List
- 14:27, 4 December 2021 diff hist +942 N Chris Sims Created page with "Chris Sims is a writer, podcaster, and the world's foremost Batmanologist. ==Chris's Work== * [https://www.comixology.com/Chris-Sims/comics-creator/3560 Comixology] * [https://www.polygon.com/users/theisb/posts#activity Polygon] * [http://www.looper.com/author/chrissims/ Looper] * [http://comicsalliance.com/author/chris-sims/ Comics Alliance] * [http://www.the-isb.com/the-stark-existential-horror-of-tarot-53/ The Stark, Existential Horror of Tarot #53] ==Podcasts== *..."
- 14:12, 4 December 2021 diff hist −31 Benito Cereno →Benito's Work
- 14:07, 4 December 2021 diff hist −11 m Benito Cereno
- 14:07, 4 December 2021 diff hist −11 Benito Cereno →For more information on Benito:
- 14:04, 4 December 2021 diff hist +10 m Main Page
- 13:54, 4 December 2021 diff hist +129 Main Page Add Teepublic
- 13:53, 4 December 2021 diff hist +901 N Benito Cereno Created page with "Benito Cereno is an overly-tall comics writer, classicist, former mythology teacher at the University of Basketball, and lover or folklore, mythology, Christmas and Latin. ==Benito's Work== * [https://furtheradvofsanta.tumblr.com/ Christmas Tumblr] * [https://benitocereno.gumroad.com Gumroad Store] * [https://www.comixology.com/Benito-Cereno/comics-creator/2148?ref=c2VhcmNoL2luZGV4L2Rlc2t0b3Avc2xpZGVyTGlzdC90b3BSZXN1bHRzU2xpZGVy Comixology] * [https://www.necpress.com/T..."
- 19:25, 3 December 2021 diff hist +69 Main Page
- 19:23, 3 December 2021 diff hist +22 Main Page →For more information
- 19:22, 3 December 2021 diff hist +344 Main Page
- 19:15, 3 December 2021 diff hist +53 Main Page
