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Show Notes

As you are well aware, Theophiloi, the Book of Genesis is the foundational text of not only multiple major religions, but arguably most of Western literature in general. That said, we can all agree that there's at least one major flaw: it does not contain as many half-angel cannibal giants as any of us would like. Fortunately, we have the Book of Mega Drive here to help out by adding an entirely new villain and glossing over some of the more important things of which you might've heard. #ReleaseTheJubileesCut!

Topics of discussion: A complete bonus hagiography of St. Valentine, Anno Mundi vs. Antemeridian, Midrashic Impulse, wisdom and prudence, the watchaaaaahhhs, God forgetting about sharks and bears, Noah getting cold smoked out with the Lord, a Diamond Dave drop that gets Benito for a full thirty seconds, the true nature of demons.

Hymnal: "One-Winged Angel" by Nobuo Uematsu, "One-Winged Angel" by Grissini Project (

Offertory: As Enoch writes, "Whoever of you spends gold or silver for his brother's sake, he will receive ample treasure in the world to come." Support the show via, or check out Official Apocrypals merchandise designed by Erica Henderson!

Black Lives Matter. Trans Lives Matter. Heck 12. Isaiah 54:17.

Opening Verse

28. And the king of Sodom came to him and bowed himself before him, and said: "Our Lord Abram, give unto us the souls which thou hast rescued, but let the booty be thine." The Book of Jubilees 13:28