Thorn Bushes and Pushups

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Show Notes

Happy Valentine's Day, Theophiloi, and might I just say, you're looking good today. Hair like goats, teeth like sheep, just dripping with myrrh... yes, all your parts are in very sexy condition. What's that? Why yes, we have been taking a few tips from Bible's greatest romantic, King Solomon the Demon-Queller! He's here with his sensual mixtape and we're going through it track by track as we take on the Song of Songs! Plus: a brief non-history of St. Valentine! Hey, don't... uh, don't listen to this one with your mom, okay?

Topics of discussion: A soupçon of Magic: The Gathering, the Sanctum Sanctorum, "Rich Girl," tbe mechanics of Bumble vis-a-vis gazelle fawns and grapes, chiastic structure, metaphors and abbreviations in order to keep our "Clean" tag, sheep content, lots of stuff we can't really put in the description, and only two jokes we had to cut out.

Offertory: If you enjoy the show, head to and send us a love offering! We absolutely appreciate it!

Choice Quotes

"I feel like this verse confirms that King Solomon definitely E's P, he probably E's A, [...] but somebody's gotta show this to DJ Khaled. Let him know: King Solomon, the man whose name is synonymous with wisdom and with wealth and power, the demon-queller, many wives, many concubines... DJ Khaled you can't say that you're somehow manlier than King Solomon, and look at this guy: he's eating the choicest fruits." — Benito


Portions for Foxes by Rilo Kiley