Neon Genesis Good News

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Show Notes

"When the scribes of the Pharisees saw that He was eating with sinners and tax collectors, they asked His disciples, 'why does He eat with tax collectors and sinners?' When Jesus heard this, He told them 'Those who are well don't need a doctor, but the sick do need one. I didn't come to call the righteous, but sinners.'" — The Gospel of Mark, 2:16-17

Gird thyself, Theophiloi, for our longest episode to date as we dive into the Gospel of Mark and its mysterious secrets. Join us as we chronicle Jesus's very justifiable frustration with the apostles and learn about the Apostles that are most likely to set your house on fire. Plus, we delve into Secret Mark, Chris has a little difficulty with pronunciation, and we finally answer the age-old question that has been debated by theologians for almost 2,000 years: is the Gospel of Mark a sandwich?

Topics of discussion: Hangry Jesus, the 3600 Marks of the Mark Corps, angel messaging, the difficulties of establishing lion and bear biology in bible times, baptism and its methods, the fish on all the cars, ancient acronyms, the most ride-or-die dudes in Galilee, "Boanerges," the Sons of Thunder, mystery cults, Herod, Herod, Herod, Herod, the first millennials, the invention of metaphors, the camel and the needle, a reference for those of you who were extremely online in 2005, "Isaiah Style," the Gay Content Airhorn, the Two Commandments, Thoughts & Prayers, Peter as Jesus's constant punchline, I.N.R.I., a sarcastic centurion who is very rude, Joses, and the Lord's tips and tricks for breaking and entering. Phew, what a long episode.


  • 00:00 Bible verse: Mark 2:16-17
  • 00:22 Music drop: ???
  • 00:37 Intro discussion starts with chronology of the canonical gospels
    • 02:40 comparing Mark to various comics
    • 03:55 translations discussed in the podcast
    • 06:28 attribution and origins of Mark
    • 10:05 how the synoptic gospels relate to each other
    • 15:00 meaning and etymology of “euangelion”, “gospel” and related words
    • 19:00 Chris wants to jump out of a window, evangelist’s symbols, lion resurrection associations
    • 24:00 who is the audience? (it’s gentiles in the city of Rome.) Chris threatens 20 minutes of Benito’s “um”s
    • 27:00 brief discussion of chiastic structure
    • 28:10 what’s not in Mark (nativity, Joseph, Jesus’ youth)
    • 31:40 is Jesus really the son of God in Mark, though? “Son of Man” discussion, Mark’s Jesus as an eschatological figure
    • 35:25 when does Mark’s Jesus become anointed? discussing John the Baptist, why Jesus needed to be baptised
    • 40:59 Benito and Chris’ baptisms, will Chris get dunked in a river in the next six months? (spoilers: no)
  • 42:50 Discussion of the text starts
    • 42:50 Chapter 1 Jesus’ time in the desert, Christian fish symbolism
    • 47:19 Chapter 2 Jesus starts doing miracles, ride-or-die dudes with a paralyzed friend
    • 48:50 the apostles start showing up, Simon “The Rock” Peter’s name
    • 50:54 Chris’ “Boanerges” pronunciation breaks Benito, the Sons of Thunder
    • 55:26 Chapter 3 why Benito should stop asking Chris things about the bible
    • 56:09 Satan Watch, association with Beelzebul/Beelzebub
    • 57:35 Chapter 4 the aesthetics of Jesus’ miracles in Mark, miracles as magic requiring verbal and somatic components (e.g. spitting on people), the miracle which required a second attempt, what was “possession by demons”
    • 1:00:45 Jesus yells at the weather because terrified apostles disturbed his nap
    • 1:02:00 Jesus dropping hints about his imminent death
    • 1:03:25 Chapter 5 discussion of secret miracles, layered meaning in parables, Jesus invents metaphors, comparison of early Christianity and ancient mystery cults
    • 1:07:20 most famous exorcism in the Bible, discussion of The Various (Too Many) Herods
    • 1:09:50 Herod’s daughter’s birthday present (it’s Johnny Bapto’s head, for some reason)
    • 1:10:54 Chapter 7 Jesus quotes Batman with a poop metaphor, Jesus astonishes the apostles by doing everything well
    • 1:12:30 Chapter 8 millennials are killing the faith industry, Peter does not understand metaphors, the transfiguration
    • 1:15:27 Chapter 10 camel through the eye of a needle, Jesus demanding redistribution of wealth, being rich is a moral failing
    • 1:17:46 SECRET MARK, first gay content airhorn, “put me under your pillow for secret reading”, connection to canon Mark’s mysterious linen-sheet-man, could canon Mark be an edited version of Secret Mark?
    • 1:28:00 Chapter 11 hangry Jesus curses a fig tree, connection to the destruction of the Second Temple
    • 1:31:13 render unto Caesar what is Caesars
    • 1:32:40 Chapter 12 the Two Commandments, coming out hard against people who devour widow’s houses (and performative faith)
    • 1:34:00 Chapter 14 Extremely Dracula last supper, Peter continues to be the punchline, Barabbas, the passion
    • 1:39:13 Chapter 15 the Marys, Josus, spooky cliffhanger ending, the three appended endings, the church on earth being three women
  • 1:45:49 Final readings: Mark 13:32, 3:27 (Jesus giving advice about breaking into houses)
  • 1:47:53 Discussion ends, outro

(Annotate further using the transcript.)