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Logs
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  • 17:42, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page GRAZACHAM! (Created page with "==Show Notes== Top o' the mornin' to ye, Theophiloi! In honor of his verdant feast day, we're taking a look at the life of Saint Patrick! Witness as he comes out of his cage and does just fine bringing Christianity to the pagan isle of Ireland. You will erhaps be shocked by the fact that there are zero (0) mentions of snakes or shamrocks, but we do have the return of all of our favorite Bible traditions: explosions, wizard battles, were-foxes, all that stuff. Plus: one o...")
  • 17:41, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Down in the Donkey Hole (Created page with "==Show Notes== Take heed, Theophiloi, because we have some intense and highly specific requirements for your upcoming tabernacle construction this week. That's right: we've wandered out of the narrative section of Exodus and into the part that's mostly about how much the Lord loves acacia wood, with a few extremely famous events strewn among it for good measure. Moses has an exceptionally long conversation at the top of Mount Sinai and we go from "yikes" to "YIKES!" as w...")
  • 17:40, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Thorn Bushes and Pushups (Created page with "==Show Notes== Happy Valentine's Day, Theophiloi, and might I just say, you're looking good today. Hair like goats, teeth like sheep, just dripping with myrrh... yes, all your parts are in very sexy condition. What's that? Why yes, we have been taking a few tips from Bible's greatest romantic, King Solomon the Demon-Queller! He's here with his sensual mixtape and we're going through it track by track as we take on the Song of Songs! Plus: a brief non-history of St. Valen...")
  • 17:40, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Thicc Darkness (Created page with "==Show Notes= Get your shoes on and don't you dare leaven that bread, Theophiloi, because it's time to dive into the Book of Exodus! In this episode, we cover the first 18 chapters, including Moses's surprisingly violent origin story, 7+3 plagues, and Pharaoh's many, many ill-advised decisions. Plus, the ultimate #passoverhack: tacos. Topics of discussion: Candlemas, LentMadness.org, Mary of Bethany v. Martha of Bethany: Dawn of Saintliness, the Main Dude of Judaism, Go...")
  • 17:39, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Return of the Twelve-Foot Volcel Lion (Created page with "==Show Notes== Just so you know, Theophiloi, both of us have definitely read the Book of Exodus, as planned. Definitely. Especially me. Remember Pharaoh? And how about that Moses, huh? Anyway, this week, we're taking a break from scripture to answer your listener questions! Plus: the Renowned Jester of the Lord! Topics of discussion: What surprised us about Bible, what we're worried about covering, further reading, disciples smooching and/or playing D&D, the Armor of Go...")
  • 17:39, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Yartzed Upon a Distant Shore (Created page with "==Show Notes== Greetings, Theophiloi, from your ever-punctual Sons of Thunder! We're back this week to answer the question of whether we can talk for an hour about exactly four pages (and 47 verses) of Bible. It's the famous story of a guy who has to live inside a whale for three days and then gets dunked on by God because he's a real grumpy boy. Join us for Jonah, won't you? Topics of discussion: Excuses excuses, New Year's but for trees, the official End of Christmas,...")
  • 17:38, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Apples and Oranges (Created page with "==Show Notes== We're back for 2019, and on the off chance that we didn't have enough of them already, get ready for a couple new Johns. Specifically, we're celebrating Epiphany with Of Hildesheim's 14th-century book on the Legend of the Three Kings, which also introduces us to Prester. How weird is this one? Well, Chris highlighted an entire page from top to bottom, so believe us, it's a rollercoaster. Plus: Li'l Fat Jesus!!!! Topics of discussion: Benito getting yelled...")
  • 17:38, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page These Apocryphal Ravings (Created page with "==Show Notes== Mary Christmas, Theophiloi! Normally at this time of year, you get a nice little reading from Luke about being sore afraid and wishing peace on Earth and goodwill to men. Unfortunately, we already covered that one, so we're bringing you the birth of Christ as you've never heard it before with the Infancy Gospel of James. We learn all about Mary's origin, in which she was Rapunzeled for thirteen years and then handed off to a very confused local carpenter....")
  • 17:37, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Second Maccabees Second Furious (Created page with "==Show Notes== So long Hanukkah and Hello Advent, Theophiloi! It's your humble Sons of Thunder on 2018's best podcast for news about Ahikar and St. Thecla's conflict with man-eating seals, and before we close out the Festival of Lights, we're going all in with 2 Maccabees. Things get buck wild as we hear about Judah Maccabee's exploits once again, now with roughly 1,000% more ghost warriors and magic swords. Seriously, this is the most action-packed part of Bible we have...")
  • 17:37, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page The Book of the Dynasty of God's Resisters (Created page with "==Show Notes== Chag sameach, Theophiloi! It's Hanukkah times, so we're diving into One Maccabees to learn the story of the Festival of Lights, and also get 16 full chapters of Jews just beating the ever-loving sugar out of everyone in the Levant. Light that Hanukkiah, sharpen that sword, and get ready for the most action-packed piece of Bible, ever. Plus, our suggestions for adding Judith and Matzoh-rella sticks to your holiday celebrations! Topics of discussion: Holida...")
  • 17:36, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Some Other Christmas Man (Created page with "==Show Notes== So uh, if this episode gets a little weird, it's probably because the hosts, two comic book writers, found out that Stan Lee died about halfway through it. But tragedies great and small won't stop us from learning about love, and also some extremely misogynistic rules about who gets to talk in church as Paul dashes off yet another letter! That's right, y'all, it's time for Rinthies, so let's get patient and kind up in this piece! Plus: do Paul's RTs = endo...")
  • 17:36, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page One Rinthies, Baby (Created page with "==Show Notes== So uh, if this episode gets a little weird, it's probably because the hosts, two comic book writers, found out that Stan Lee died about halfway through it. But tragedies great and small won't stop us from learning about love, and also some extremely misogynistic rules about who gets to talk in church as Paul dashes off yet another letter! That's right, y'all, it's time for Rinthies, so let's get patient and kind up in this piece! Plus: do Paul's RTs = endo...")
  • 17:36, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Butt Stuff Dragon (Created page with "==Show Notes== Get ready for HAINTS AND SAINTS, Theophiloi! It's Halloween and things are getting wild spooky up in here as we diver into the testament of Solomon, a very wise man who likes two things: glorifying God and forcing demons to do menial labor. Meet several new costume options that you certainly won't have to spend all night explaining, including Ornias, Beelzeboul, Onoskelis, Astaroth, the 36 Elements of the Cosmic Ruler of the Darkness, our old pal Asmodeus,...")
  • 15:55, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Dunking on Satan (Created page with "==Show Notes== PIECES be with you, Theophil-OOZE, and get ready for the first installment of our two-part HELLoween SCAREtacular! This week, we're descending into HELL! And, uh, it's not actually that scary in the traditional sense, although the antisemitism of early Christian writings brings its own brand of horror. Either way, it's our long-awaited discussion of the Harrowing of Hell! Plus, an untold tale of Jesus's magic emotion-changing clothes! Topics of discussion...")
  • 15:52, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Ocean's Two (Created page with "==Show Notes== Get ready, Theophiloi, because it's time for a tightly plotted heist story about our favorite Deuterocanonical heroine, Judith! We'll be heading into a slice of the Apocrypha with some sharp commentary that cuts right to the good stuff. Get to listening, chop chop! Plus: Some very good and suggestions for improving Hanukkah that you can implement in your own celebrations! Topics of discussion: The ironies (all of them), Doubting Tomax, a prelude to Martin...")
  • 15:52, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Biblerella (Created page with "==Show Notes== Watch out, Theophiloi -- we've got some high voltage coming your way as we dive into the apocryphal Acts of Paul and Thecla. For the first time, we have a real female protagonist who has agency... to the extreme. Join us for an astounding piece of Biblical fanfic, a discussion of why Thecla was left out of the canon (hint: thousands of years of entrenched misogyny), and get ready to be thirsty for virtue when you meet your new favorite semi-Biblical figure...")
  • 15:30, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page MBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBaM (Created page with "==Show Notes== It's finally time, Theophiloi, for us to finish our exhausting journey through the extremely bizarre Book of Genesis! This week, it's the life of Joseph and his Completely Ordinary Long-Sleeved Dream Robe! The Golden Age Daniel (aka the Lord of Dreams) closes out the book with a surprisingly cohesive narrative that teaches us the solution to all of life's problems: throw it in a hole. It's the final 13 of 50 verses of people making bad moves! Join us, won'...")
  • 15:29, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Literally and Figuratively Wrestling With God (Created page with "==Show Notes== Content Warning: We cover the story of Dinah in this episode, which involves a sexual assault. Shanah Tovah, Theophiloi, and welcome back to what we're pretty sure is the world's only Bible podcast! We're kicking off 5779 with the third part of our increasingly unwieldy discussion of Genesis. This week, the Lentil Stew Boys are back for hijinx as we cover the lives of Jacob and Esau, and give you a shofar performance that critics are already hailing as "w...")
  • 15:27, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Five Gallons of Bread (Created page with "==Show Notes== We've got a content warning on this one: This section of Genesis includes some very famous instances of homophobia, sexual assault, and incest. Keep that in mind if you plan on listening this week. Join us, Theophiloi, as we continue our journey through Genesis. The first of the Pentateuch continues to be challenging as we move into the life of Abraham and find things that are even weirder than we got with Adam, Eve, and Noah. Join us for the many instanc...")
  • 15:22, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Doamurder, West Virginia (Created page with "==Show Notes== Ever wonder why we have anxiety, Theophiloi? Perhaps it's because we're sitting down to examine and/or make goofs about the extremely well-known foundational text of at least three major world religions. That's right, y'all: it's our longest episode yet, featuring the genesis of the beginning of Genesis. This week: Chapters 1 through 11, covering Adam and Eve, Cain and Abel, Noah's Ark , and other stories that you probably know very well, assuming you reme...")
  • 15:20, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page An Approximate Week (Created page with "==Show Notes= Happy birthday! To you, possibly, to us, definitely, as today (August 12) is Chris's birthday, and Benito's (August 20) is quickly following! To celebrate, we're taking a break from Bible Times to hit up the middle ages and Jacobus de Voragine's The Golden Legend. Join us as we learn about our namesake saints (namesaints), St. Christopher and St. Benedict. One is a gigantic werewolf and the other hates being horny. Just friggin' hates it. It's not a competi...")
  • 15:19, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page The Boy-Related Eagle Plan (Created page with "==Show Notes== Get out of the cistern and cut your nails, Theophiloi, because it's time for a brand new episode! Join us as we take on the extremely apocryphal book of Ahikar, Tobit's maybe nephew. This leads us to the biggest fight we've ever had on the show, which is about whether the Pharaoh's riddle contest is actually a riddle contest or not (it's not, but the eagle boys are pretty dope). Topics of discussion: A debate over the premise of the show that sends Chris'...")
  • 15:16, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Bonus Goat (Created page with "==Show Notes== We are back, Theophiloi! After a bona fide Act of God, we've returned to read the capital-A Apocryphal Book of Tobit, and it is a wild one. Join us for the most canonical of the non-canonical books, in which we find out exactly why you shouldn't go to sleep under a wall, what fish parts you need if you do, and meet an ironically prudish demon and an angel who's cool but rude. Plus: What happens if we find a brand new book of the Bible, autographed by God?...")
  • 15:15, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Whomst Was At the Tombst? (Created page with "==Show Notes== Okay, Theophiloi, let's get this clear right now: Roy Thomas was the second editor-in-chief of Marvel after Stan Lee, and is often considered to have been the first comics creator to make the leap from fan to pro, so yeah, he's basically Luke. Hope that clears it all up. Now that that's done, break off a hunk of traitor bread and join us as we finally finish with the canonical gospels! This week: the back half of the Gospel of John, aka the Gospel of Travi...")
  • 15:15, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page 90s Vertigo Jesus (Created page with "==Show Notes== Oh h*ck yeah! Your hosts done done it again, y'all: we goofed around and talked a whole lot about the Gospel of John. You'd think after going through this stuff four times, we'd be a little more efficient, but no. It turns out that there have been centuries of debate focused entirely on John 1:1, and it goes like you'd expect from there. Join us on the first part of our journey through the final canonical gospel (and by far the weirdest) as we meet a new a...")
  • 15:13, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page The Dude Hates Wizards (Created page with "==Show Notes== Congratulations be upon you, Theophiloi (and possibly Apocryphinos)! We hope you're ready for some Johnny Bapto content, because that's what we have a lot of this time around, as we go into the Gospel of Luke! Bear witness to the Sermon on the Plain, the Seven Deadly Enemies of Man, and pure unbridled hatred for wizards, the rich, and, presumably, rich wizards. Plus, Chris solves the synoptic problem once and for all. You're welcome. Topics of discussion:...")
  • 15:11, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Simon Peter's Sweet Sixteen (Created page with "==Show Notes== A question for you, Theophiloi: How many times would you like to listen to us go through the Gospel of Matthew? As many as... seven times? Well, you'll have to settle for two, as this week finds us finally getting into scripture. Join us here at Skull Mountain Baptist Church as we ghost ride the whip into Jerusalem, strain out gnats, gulp down camels, and celebrate the birthday of everyone's favorite dimwitted Apostle, Teen Peter. Topics of discussion: Ba...")
  • 15:10, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page What's Up, Doctor Goodacre (Created page with "==Show Notes== Congratulations be upon you, Theophiloi! So remember how last week, we had our longest episode ever? Well, your boys done did it again. We went so deep into the Gospel of Matthew that we wound up recording for well over two hours, which means it's time for our very first two-part episode! Join us as we go about 40 minutes before we actually get into scripture, largely because we're busy talking about hypothetical gospels, reviewing the major motion picture...")
  • 14:50, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Neon Genesis Good News (Created page with "==Show Notes== "When the scribes of the Pharisees saw that He was eating with sinners and tax collectors, they asked His disciples, 'why does He eat with tax collectors and sinners?' When Jesus heard this, He told them 'Those who are well don't need a doctor, but the sick do need one. I didn't come to call the righteous, but sinners.'" -- The Gospel of Mark, 2:16-17 Gird thyself, Theophiloi, for our longest episode to date as we dive into the Gospel of Mark and its myst...")
  • 14:49, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Fresh Prince of Beliar (Created page with "==Show Notes== "And Isaiah answered and said 'So far as I have utterance, damned and accused be thou and all thy powers and all thy house, for thou canst not take from me aught save the skin of my body.' And they siezed and sawed in sunder Isaiah the son of Amoz with a wooden saw." -- The Ascension of Isaiah, 5:9-11. Here's a question for you, Theophiloi: How do you get rid of a prophet who won't stop sitting on your bed in the nude with 50 of his closest friends? The a...")
  • 14:49, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page On the Road to Rome (Created page with "==Show Notes== "Therefore, any one of you who judges is without excuse, for when you judge another, you condemn yourself, since you, the judge, do the same things. We know that God's judgment on those who do such things is based on the truth. Do you really think any one of you who judges those who do such things yet do the same, that you will escape God's judgment?" -- Romans 2:3 Hello, Theophiloi! We, Chris and Benito, faithful servants of the podcasting game, called t...")
  • 14:48, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Wittgenstein's Monster (Created page with "==Show Notes== "Woe to those that are wise in their own opinion and clever in their own sight." -- Isaiah 5:21 Isaiah, the biggest beefiest boy of all the prophets, steps into the spotlight to put our very premise to the test. Can we actually do an episode when there's no real narrative and about 66 chapters of prophecies that require a 45-minute history lesson? U-DECIDE! We dive in for some complicated context, check out the most quotable book of the Bible, and at long...")
  • 14:46, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Various Heresies (Created page with ""Go, say unto Simon: Peter, because of whom thou fleddest out of Judaea, waiteth for thee at the door." -- The Acts of Peter, Chapter IV Join us this week as we dive into the apocryphal Acts of Peter and Acts of Peter and Paul for the daring return of the Bad Samaritan himself, the Father of All Heresies, the man who claims to be Jesus and may actually be Paul, Simon Magus! When our favorite Biblical supervillain shows up, Simon "The Rock" Peter returns to action to rea...")
  • 13:03, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Shalom Birdie (with David Wolkin) (Created page with "==Show Notes== This week we're doing something a little different, Theophiloi! Before we finally move on from Genesis, we've invited the Beloved Wolfman, our pal David Wolkin, to talk us through the Torah. He covers his upbringing and work in Jewish education, and the story of a flawed people struggling with a very confusing God. Plus: the potentially devastating academic consequences of eating at IHOP and answers to your listener questions. Topics of discussion: The J...")
  • 09:40, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page One Weird Trick (Created page with "==Show Notes== Therefore I issue a decree that anyone of any people, nation, or language who says anything offensive against the God of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego will be torn limb from limb and his house made into a garbage dump." -- Daniel 3:29 This week, Benito and Chris take their first foray into the Old Testament, and into the Apocrypha with the Book of Daniel, including the deuterocanonical Prayer of Azariah, Bel and the Dragon, and Susanna. Join us as we di...")
  • 09:28, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page MediaWiki:Sidebar (Created page with " * navigation ** mainpage|mainpage-description ** Episode List ** recentchanges-url|recentchanges ** randompage-url|randompage ** helppage|help-mediawiki * SEARCH * TOOLBOX * LANGUAGES")
  • 09:26, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Porky Party (Created page with "==Show Notes== "Look, you scoffers, marvel and vanish away, because I am doing a work in your days, a work that you will never believe, even if someone were to explain it to you." — Acts 13:41 Chris and Benito begin their Biblical journey with the sequel to the Gospels. The Holy Ghost Awakens as Peter proves to be pretty hard-line about communism, Paul goes a little too hard in the paint, and we meet our first favorite character in the Book. Topics of discussion: Hol...")
  • 09:25, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page I've Been To My Share of Pizza Parties (Created page with "==Show Notes== "Then, even if your beginnings were modest, your final days will be full of prosperity." -- Job 8:7 Welcome to Apocrypals, the podcast where two non-believers read through the Bible, but aren't, you know, jerks about it. Join comic book writers Benito Cereno and Chris Sims as they embark on a complete, non-sequential journey from Acts to Zephaniah, with stops in the Apocrypha along the way. Before we dive into the Good Book, though, we sit down to explai...")
  • 14:15, 6 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Rawest Verses (Created page with "{| class="wikitable" | Book || Chapter || Verse || Text |- | 1 Maccabees || 2 || 62 || Do not fear the words of sinners, for their splendor will turn into dung and worms. |- | 2 Maccabees || 14 || 45 - 46 || Still alive and aflame with anger, he rose, and though his blood gushed forth and his wounds were severe he ran through the crowd; and standing upon a steep rock, with his blood now completely drained from him, he tore out his entrails, took them in both hands and h...")
  • 11:51, 6 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs moved page Reading list to Reading List without leaving a redirect (title case)
  • 11:51, 6 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs moved page Episode list to Episode List without leaving a redirect (title case)
  • 16:04, 4 December 2021 User account Orthad talk contribs was created by Jemaleddin talk contribs (Orthad needs an account!)
  • 15:49, 4 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Recommended Podcasts (Created page with "* [https://anchor.fm/throwingsheyd Throwing Sheyd] - Better living through Jewish demonology. * [https://peteenns.com/podcast/ The Bible for Normal People] - The only god-ordained podcast on the Internet. * [https://gnosticwisdom.net/talkgnosis/ Talk Gnosis] - A weekly talk show about gnosticism and related traditions. * [https://weirdchristmas.com Weird Christmas] - All things holly, jolly and odd-ly. * [https://jingle.horse] Hark! - A year-round holiday music review po...")
  • 15:23, 4 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Friends of the Show (Created page with "==Erica Henderson== Eisner-award winning comics artist and animator [https://twitter.com/EricaFails Erica Henderson] has produced a number of designs for Apocrypals [https://www.teepublic.com/stores/apocrypals?ref_id=18246&utm_campaign=18246&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_source=Apocrypals Merch]. ==Ben Rowe== ==jcsflo==")
  • 15:12, 4 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Bonus Episodes (Created page with "{| class="wikitable" style="vertical-align:top;" ! Episode !!       Date       !! Title !! Subject !! Source !! Show Notes |- style="vertical-align:top;" | [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xHQHK_SLX8 69 Secret] || 2020-08-28 || Secret 69 || The Greater Questions of Mary || Apocrypha || Benito goes solo in this secret bonus episode covering a text so gross that Chris has expressly forbidden it from ever appearin...")
  • 13:27, 4 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Chris Sims (Created page with "Chris Sims is a writer, podcaster, and the world's foremost Batmanologist. ==Chris's Work== * [https://www.comixology.com/Chris-Sims/comics-creator/3560 Comixology] * [https://www.polygon.com/users/theisb/posts#activity Polygon] * [http://www.looper.com/author/chrissims/ Looper] * [http://comicsalliance.com/author/chris-sims/ Comics Alliance] * [http://www.the-isb.com/the-stark-existential-horror-of-tarot-53/ The Stark, Existential Horror of Tarot #53] ==Podcasts== *...")
  • 12:53, 4 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Benito Cereno (Created page with "Benito Cereno is an overly-tall comics writer, classicist, former mythology teacher at the University of Basketball, and lover or folklore, mythology, Christmas and Latin. ==Benito's Work== * [https://furtheradvofsanta.tumblr.com/ Christmas Tumblr] * [https://benitocereno.gumroad.com Gumroad Store] * [https://www.comixology.com/Benito-Cereno/comics-creator/2148?ref=c2VhcmNoL2luZGV4L2Rlc2t0b3Avc2xpZGVyTGlzdC90b3BSZXN1bHRzU2xpZGVy Comixology] * [https://www.necpress.com/T...")
  • 12:32, 4 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs changed group membership for Makyo from (none) to administrator and bureaucrat
  • 18:28, 3 December 2021 User account Makyo talk contribs was created by Jemaleddin talk contribs (Creating an account for Makyo)
  • 17:51, 3 December 2021 User account Unknown user talk was created by Jemaleddin talk contribs
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