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Combined display of all available logs of Apocrypals Apocrypha. You can narrow down the view by selecting a log type, the username (case-sensitive), or the affected page (also case-sensitive).

Logs
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  • 17:48, 28 January 2022 Barnaby talk contribs created page User:Barnaby (Created page with "{{ts|5:00}}")
  • 17:47, 28 January 2022 Barnaby talk contribs created page Template:Ts (Created page with "<html><span class="timestamp"></html>{{{1}}}<html></span></html>")
  • 17:23, 27 January 2022 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Template:Podcast (Created page with "<audio id="audio_example" class="video-js vjs-default-skin" controls preload="auto" title="{{{2}}}" width="300" height="100" data-setup='{}'> <source src="{{{1}}}" type='audio/mp3'/> </audio>")
  • 15:43, 28 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Category:Bonus (Created page with "''This category links to all bonus episodes, even the ones that Chris should not know about.''")
  • 14:10, 28 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Category:Maimonides (Created page with "''This category links to episodes discussing the RAMBAM himself, Moses ben Maimon.''")
  • 14:07, 28 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Category:Hanukkah (Created page with "''This category lists episodes that are, in some way, related to the Festival of Lights.''")
  • 14:04, 28 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Category:Video Games (Created page with "''This category links to all episodes that discuss video games.''")
  • 11:35, 28 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Category:Hosts (Created page with "''This category links to the pages about Your Humble Sons of Thunder.''")
  • 11:30, 28 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Category:Recommendations (Created page with "''This category links to off-site resources recommended by the Sons of Thunder.''")
  • 11:01, 28 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Category:Altar Call (Created page with "''This category links to episodes where the Sons of Thunder answer listener questions.''")
  • 10:57, 28 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Category:Golden Legend (Created page with "''This category links to all the episodes based on the works of the clown prince of etymology, Jacobus de Varagine.''")
  • 10:53, 28 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Category:Deuterocanon (Created page with "''This category links to pages that are deuterocanonical in the Bible, but primary canon in our hearts.''")
  • 10:50, 28 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Category:Trivia (Created page with "''This category links to the most trivial episodes.''")
  • 10:43, 28 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Category:Christmas (Created page with "''This category links to all the pages about the greatest time of year.''")
  • 10:41, 28 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Category:Chick Tracts (Created page with "''This category links to all episodes featuring the tracts of the despicable Jack T. Chick.''")
  • 10:34, 28 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Category:Tanakh (Created page with "''This category links to all episodes covering books of the Tanakh.''")
  • 10:29, 28 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Category:Renowned Dan Brown (Created page with "''This category links to all episodes discussing the work of the Renowned Dan Brown.''")
  • 19:40, 27 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Category:Simon Magus (Created page with " ''This category exists to link to all episodes featuring mentions of everyone's favorite battle-wizard, Simon "Paul?" Magus.''")
  • 19:39, 27 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Category:Saint Peter (Created page with "''This category exists to link to all episodes featuring mentions of Saint Peter who does not understand metaphors, making that whole Peter/Rock thing a little mean.''")
  • 19:39, 27 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Category:Saint Paul (Created page with "''This category exists to link to all episodes featuring mentions of Saint Paul, your problematic bald fave.''")
  • 19:38, 27 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Category:Gnosticism (Created page with "''This category exists to link to all episodes featuring mentions of Gnosticism.''")
  • 19:38, 27 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Category:Force Ghosts (Created page with "''This category exists to link to all episodes featuring mentions of force ghosts.''")
  • 19:38, 27 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Category:Emperor Nero (Created page with "''This category exists to link to all episodes featuring mentions of Emperor Nero.''")
  • 19:38, 27 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Category:Apocrypha (Created page with "''This category exists to link to all episodes discussing apocryphal texts.''")
  • 19:37, 27 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Category:Johnathan Stewart (Created page with "''This category exists to link to all episodes featuring mentions of Friend of the Show Jonathan Stewart.''")
  • 19:37, 27 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Category:Ben Rowe (Created page with "''This category exists to link to all episodes featuring mentions of Friend of the Show Ben Rowe.''")
  • 19:27, 27 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Category:Episode (Created page with "''This category links to all episode pages.''")
  • 19:26, 27 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Category:New Testament (Created page with "''This page exists to link to episodes that are about the New Testament''")
  • 16:02, 24 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page You Know, the Manger? (Created page with "<iframe key="podcast" path="embed/episode/id/21580571/height/90/theme/custom/thumbnail/yes/direction/forward/render-playlist/no/custom-color/000000/" /> ==Show Notes== We suspect, Theophiloi, that it has been as much of A Year for you as it has been for your humble Sons of Thunder, so please forgive us for skipping the lengthy and intense reading we would’ve done for Hanukkah in favor of going right to a much easier Christmas episode to finish out the year. We’re div...")
  • 11:32, 23 December 2021 User account Samwise talk contribs was created by Jemaleddin talk contribs (An account for Samwise)
  • 20:34, 18 December 2021 User account Barnaby talk contribs was created by Jemaleddin talk contribs (Barnaby needs an account)
  • 13:24, 9 December 2021 User account CDamascus talk contribs was created by Jemaleddin talk contribs (Helping out a centipede)
  • 17:20, 8 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page MediaWiki:Common.css (Created page with "CSS placed here will be applied to all skins: .mw-portlet-Navigation h3 { text-transform: capitalize; }")
  • 01:00, 8 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Books of the Bible Not Covered (Created page with "==Old Testament== * Books of Kings ** 1 Kings ** 2 Kings * Books of Chronicles ** 1 Chronicles ** 2 Chronicles * Book of Ezra * Book of Nehemiah * Book of Job * Psalms * Book of Proverbs * Book of Hosea * Book of Joel * Book of Amos * Book of Obadiah * Book of Habakkuk * Book of Zephaniah * Book of Haggai * Book of Zechariah * Book of Malachi ==Apocrypha== * 1 Esdras (3 Esdras Vulgate) * 2 Esdras (4 Esdras Vulgate) * Wisdom of Solomon * Ecclesiasticus (also known as Sir...")
  • 19:09, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Pretty Sus, Lesbius (Created page with "==Show Notes== Quick, Theophiloi! Name your favorite Apostle! Okay, good, now we know who among you cannot be trusted, because anyone who said Andrew is a liar. My dude is boring as all h*ck except for the part where Andrew’s friend goes completely John Wick on a bunch of dudes who are trying to recreate the cover to Uncanny X-Men #251. That might not sound very appealing, but… well, it’s a good show anyway. Promise. Topics of Discussion: The importance of being f...")
  • 19:09, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Guess the Persona-fied Bible Character (Created page with "==Show Notes== In this special piece of bonus content, Chris tries to stump Benito with images of the depictions of biblical and apocryphal figures in the popular JRPG Persona 5. Can Benito summon all the might of the Guess-o-tron 5000 to aid him in this time of great tribulation?")
  • 19:08, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page The Goku of Judaism (Created page with "==Show Notes== Happy Halloween, FIENDS and NeighBOOs! It’s the spookiest time of year, and to get in the SPIRIT, we’re reading about how the Master of The Good Name and founder of Hassidic Judaism fought a werewolf and then out-lawyered a ghost in front of God Himself. No, really. It’s exactly as rad as it sounds. Topics of Discussion: AHH!BBA, a spooky film recommendation, the RAMBAM, the RADR, etc, the Appalachians of Dracula, Barovia, a very suspect ingredient,...")
  • 19:08, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page An Abyss of Significant Depth (Created page with "==Show Notes== I don’t want to brag, Theophiloi, but I think if I was going to write a text in the style of Mr. Paul (a servant of Jesus Christ, called to be an Apostle, separated unto the Gospel of God which He had promised afore by His prophets in the holy scriptures), I could probably do a better job than whoever it was who wrote this one and then pretended to dig it up from under his basement. That said, this bit of apocryphanfic does give us one of the most influe...")
  • 19:08, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Little Martha and the Small Vandellas (Created page with "==Show Notes== Work with me here, Theophiloi: It sure is late July 2021, and that means it’s time for us to celebrate the feast day of Jesus’s Second-Favorite Mary, depending on who you ask! We’re rolling through a hagiography of Mary Mags so dubious that even Jacobus de Voragine says part of it is definitely made up, and considering that dude’s wack standards, that’s saying something. Plus, a very special guest Saint who definitely exists because some history...")
  • 19:07, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Approximate Week IV: OblIVion (Created page with "==Show Notes== Blessed are your hosts, Theophiloi! It’s been a while, yes, but we’re back just in time for our mutual birthday, with a look at an apocryphal text that goes from zero to complete buck wild in the span of about one paragraph. Get ready for some real Bee Attitudes and join us in this episode as we find out how Joseph — the Old Testament one with the coat, not Jesus’s stepdad — met his very tall, very mean wife. Topics of Discussion: Donald Duckin...")
  • 19:07, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Cephalo4: Protect Yr Neck (Created page with "==Show Notes== In this special YouTube exclusive Benito-only Apocrypals episode, we discuss the disturbingly robust subgenre of saints known as cephalophores, beheaded folk who carried their own heads around post mortem.")
  • 19:07, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Slayer of Men, Conqueror of Space (Created page with "==Show Notes== I think you’ll agree, Theophiloi, that while texts containing actual stories about things like 12’ werewolf saints and angel jacuzzis are nice, the real action here on our goodtime comedy podcast is in non-narrative, fragmented gnostic texts about how good is not good, evil is not evil, Jesus is made of bread, and also he had French babies. We’re diving once more into the geometry that inspired the Da Vinci Code (and, you know, the whole thing about...")
  • 19:06, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page The Me In This Story Is You (Created page with "==Show Notes== CONTENT WARNING: This episode contains discussion of sexual assault with regards to the story of Amnon and Tamar, beginning right after the ad break and ending at 26:00. If I had to rank them, Theophiloi, I’d say that the most wildly violent pieces of media I have ever taken in through the eyeballs are Doom 2016, Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky, and the Second Book of Samuel. Unlike the first two, this one’s not all fun, but we do eventually get to the po...")
  • 19:06, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Double Chai: Rock Me, Asmodeus (Created page with "==Show Notes== In this bonus episode, Benito goes solo to tell the Jewish legend of King Solomon matching wits with the Prince of Demons. Check out the Apocrypals podcast here: https://apocrypals.libsyn.com/ Hear Asmodeus's other starring role in our episode on the Book of Tobit: https://apocrypals.libsyn.com/13-bonu... Learn about Solomon using demon power to build the Temple in our episode on The Testament of Solomon: https://apocrypals.libsyn.com/25-butt... If you...")
  • 19:05, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Worfin’ the Lions (Created page with "==Show Notes== If you told me three years ago, Theophiloi, that the most famous king in Bible was not in the book called “Kings” but was instead in the part named after a dude who is neither present nor alive for the entire thing, I would’ve been real salty about it. Fortunately,, what it lacks in its title character, Sammy Deuce more than makes up for in sheer violence. It’s so much that we had to split it into two, because much like the Mountain Goats, King Dav...")
  • 19:05, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page 2000 B.C. (Created page with "==Show Notes== You may be wondering, Theophiloi, how we could possibly talk for over 90 minutes about 1 Samuel, which contains one of the Bible stories that literally everyone knows. And yes, you almost certainly know about David and Goliath, but do you know about David's vast collection of foreskins? Or the part where the King of Israel does necromancy with the mom from Bewitched? Or that sweet sweet groundhoney? If you do, well, listen anyway, there's good jokes in thi...")
  • 19:05, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page A Miserable Pile of Secrets (Created page with "==Show Notes== We weren't kidding, Theophiloi. We actually did a full-length commentary track for The Da Vinci Code (2006, Dir. Ron Howard). Did you know this movie is almost two and a half hours long? Because we didn't when we decided to do this. That is merely one of many shocking revelations that you can unravel along with us in this parasocial hangout sesh... OR IS IT? Topics of Discussion: Listen, I'm not going to lie to you here, we talk about a LOT of stuff in th...")
  • 19:04, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Crisis On 18,000 Earths (Created page with "==Show Notes== We're finishing up our third anniversary special this week, Theophiloi, and the sheer weirdness of Enoch's new career has gotten vast enough to fill a myriad of parasangs. You might've thought you were prepared for everything we're going to see in this, but can anyone truly be prepared for SATAN STORMWIND, the sensational character find of the 2nd Century? It's the Dark Souls of apocrypha as these one two princes of podcasting get through 3noch 2: A Little...")
  • 19:04, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page God Junior (Created page with "==Show Notes== Do me a favor, Theophiloi. Take a moment and write down the number of eyes, wings, and faces, that you think angels have, bearing in mind that you listen to this show and we know you know that two, two, and one are not the correct answers to that question. Now look at that number and understand that according to 3noch, you are almost certainly underestimating how wild we're going to get in this episode. It's our third Apocryphersary, and we're finally tack...")
  • 19:04, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Old Clootie (Created page with "==Show Notes== As it is written in the Book of Ecclesiastes, Theophiloi: futility. Utter futility. That's what we get from trying to influence the farce that is Lent Madness to get our pick, St. Dunstan, all the way to the end of that sham of a tournament. In the time between deciding on him and recording this episode, our holy boy is already out, despite doing some real Hellboy stuff to the Devil his own self. Find out more in this week's episode, which is neither farce...")
  • 19:03, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Just One More Thing (Created page with "==Show Notes== You know, Theophiloi, my wife, she's a really big fan of these saints these days, so I was wondering if you could help me out here. I've been trying to get through the life of of St. Columba, but there's just a couple things I don't understand. See, this thing, I've been going through it, and it's 87 pages long, and I just can't seem to figure out why a podcaster would choose such a long document to read for a show about Ireland's third most popular saint....")
  • 19:03, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Speedrun Tactics (Created page with "==Show Notes== We have had some points of contention, Theophiloi, but up to this point, it's mostly been about Benito's bizarre and upsetting taste in candy. This time, though, a strong candidate for the worst book we've read so far threatens to tear the show apart as a genuine undercurrent of resentment flows over how boring the second half of Jubilees is. Don't let that stop you from listening to the show, though! We promise there are some good jokes in here somewhere!...")
  • 19:03, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Sedeqetelebab! (Created page with "==Show Notes== As you are well aware, Theophiloi, the Book of Genesis is the foundational text of not only multiple major religions, but arguably most of Western literature in general. That said, we can all agree that there's at least one major flaw: it does not contain as many half-angel cannibal giants as any of us would like. Fortunately, we have the Book of Mega Drive here to help out by adding an entirely new villain and glossing over some of the more important thin...")
  • 19:02, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Sometimes It's Just Sucky (Created page with "==Show Notes== It is with a heavy heart that we must announce that Mr. Paul is at it again, Theophiloi... maybe. In this episode, your humble Sons of Thunder dive into Ephesians, a brief slice of Bible that is relatively (RELATIVELY) chill, to the point where there's doubt over whether the New Testament's grumpiest boy actually wrote it. Don't worry, though: there's still plenty to get mad at. It's the best and worst of our least favorite first-century saint! Topics of...")
  • 19:02, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page The Deadliest Skambush of Them All (Created page with "==Show Notes== CONTENT WARNING: The text covered in this episode contains a scene of sexual assault, discussed starting at 1:38:00. Happy Gentile New Year, Theophiloi! Like Merle Haggard, we have made it through December, and we're treating ourselves to what is probably the rawest book in Bible — which unfortunately includes what Luke T. Harrington has called the most depraved passage in the whole book. What better to greet 2021 than with that sort of up-and-down rolle...")
  • 19:02, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Bill Bless Us, Every Ted (Created page with "==Show Notes== Happy Holidays, Theophiloi! We've wrapped up the show for the year, but before we get to these last few days of kicking back with a nice hot chocolate and a cup of coffee for St. Lucy, we're inviting you to join us for our Christmastime gift exchange. Plus: a very, very short apocryphal text about Baby Jesus bustin' up rocks!")
  • 19:01, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Marys Christmas (Created page with "==Show Notes== Happy Holidays, Theophiloi! It's our favorite time of the year, and that means we're once again reading the story about how an angel came down to herald the birth of a child whose divine nature would be revealed by a dove, and who would gather a group of followers and perform many wondrous miracles: the Blessed Voltron Mary. Yeah, apparently the whole "be not afraid" stuff happened to her first, but don't worry. Jesus gets his own unique adventures in tami...")
  • 19:01, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page MACCABEES (Created page with "==Show Notes== Chag samaeach, Theophiloi! It's Hanukkah time once again, and for 5781, we're diving back into the dynasty of God's resisters with MACCABEES — and this time, it's about family. Join us as we go through some truly grotesque and graphic descriptions of torture in what is essentially Green Eggs & Ham meets Hostel. It's... maybe not the best way to celebrate a gift-giving holiday, but, well, we didn't write it. Also: Olive Garden, stop reading. Applebee's......")
  • 19:01, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page The Blessed Voltrons (Created page with "==Show Notes== Advent continues apace, Theophiloi, and we're celebrating with two of the most famous and popular lady saints, St. Barbara and St. Catherine! Babs and Cathy are here to visit total ruination upon the devil (who, sadly, does not actually appear in these stories) using explosions of various sizes. I'm not gonna lie, it gets a little grim, but c'mon. You know how most saints became saints by now, right? Topics of discussion: Quibbling with Martinmas, Advent...")
  • 19:00, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Filling the Room (Created page with "==Show Notes== If you thought the Song of Solomon was going to be a tough one for us to get through with our "Clean" tag intact, Theophiloi, brace yourselves for the Life of St. Martin. With a translation that almost has to be purposefully nasty, we're kicking off Advent with the 100% true and factual story of Martin of Tours, the saint who cured the sick, raised the dead, and ruined at least one funeral. Plus: the Devil! Like... a lot of the Devil! Topics of Discussion...")
  • 19:00, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Lazer Babies (Created page with "==Show Notes== Happy Halloween, DRACULA-philoi, and pre-SCARE to have your sins counted as we descend once more into HELL! Specifically the Hell described in the Apocalypse of Simon "The Rock" Peter, in which everyone's favorite teen apostle describes the many punishments that await sinners of varying quality in the afterlife. Let BOO-nito SCREAM-o and CRYPTS Sims (should've thought of that one for the show) guide you on a harrowing journey full of ironic punishments and...")
  • 18:59, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Howl of the Ostrich (Created page with "==Show Notes== If you've ever read Bible and thought "hey, this is great but I wish it had dudes just unleashing straight metaphorical fire on workers of iniquity," then allow your humble Sons of Thunder to introduce you to Micah and Nahum. What these two prophets lack in verbosity, they more than make up for in sheer scorching anger. Just wait'll you get to Nahum 3:19, Theophiloi. It's wild. (Note: There's a stretch in this episode where Chris sounds like he's recording...")
  • 18:59, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Be Courageous! (Created page with "==Show Notes== Happy New Year, Theophiloi! That's right, it's Rosh Hashanah time, and we are 100% Done In 5781™. Also done? Joshua, whose journey to become the second Moses is going to take him down the path of mass murders and detailed land allotments, which is basically what the entire Old Testament is if you really get down to it. Get ready to break down the walls and Be Courageous, because we've got some neck-steppin' to do! It's the podcast that you can still hear...")
  • 18:59, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Cold Brew Paul (Created page with "==Show Notes== One half of your humble Sons of Thunder is joining you from real-for-real quarantine, dear Theophiloi, but that won't stop us from griping our way through our first canonical New Testament book of this calendar year. What might stop us is Mr. Paul in prime form, declaring himself to know more about Jesus than anyone on Earth or in Heaven, but we try to get through it in an episode that could perhaps best be described as "adversarial." On the other hand, we...")
  • 18:58, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Approximate Week Chapter 3: Parabellum (Created page with "==Show Notes== If you seek birthdays, Theophiloi, prepare for war — the War Scroll, that is! As we celebrate the Approximate Week between our two personal nativities, we dive into the Dead Sea Scrolls for the first time to find out all about the best of seven series between the Sons of Light and the Sons of Darkness. Please note that these Sons of Light are not, like, half-angels or whatever, but they do write some extremely dope things on their swords. Topics of Disc...")
  • 18:58, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Two Firkin Bored (Created page with "==Show Notes== Having trouble sleeping, Theophiloi? Well here's an evangelion for you: this episode covers a letter written by the most boring person to ever cover a miracle. Get ready for intense table measurements, detailed MapQuest directions to Judea circa 250 BCE, and some day one philosophy class nonsense. It's the thrilling story of the Septuagint and the curse upon those who would alter it, which is mentioned maybe once in a document that is roughly eight thousan...")
  • 18:57, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Secret 69 (Created page with "==Show Notes== Benito goes solo in this secret bonus episode covering a text so gross that Chris has expressly forbidden it from ever appearing on the show. SO DON'T TELL CHRIS. I tried to capture the spontaneity of the regular show, so I did this all in one take; please forgive the Discord alerts I couldn't figure out how to turn off and my cats fighting in the background.")
  • 18:57, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Thirst Corinthians (Created page with "==Show Notes== Under normal circumstances, Theophiloi, ladytype saints tend to become so by not having any adult fun at all and then calling Jesus lightning down on man-eating seals or exploding and teleporting their way out of a tower. For Episode Nice, however, we're covering two women who took things in the opposite direction by having all the adult fun they possibly could and then chilling out once they were finished. Believe it or not, they have way more agency in t...")
  • 18:56, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Scent of a Jesus (Created page with "==Show Notes== Welcome to your Not-So-Dirty Thirties, Theophiloi! For as it is written, in the New Jerusalem, we will all be at the age where it's time to start thinking about getting an IRA, and realizing that we can't stay up drinking like we used to do... forever. This is one of the many strange things we learn in our set of three dubiously Johannine Apocalypses brought to us by New Testament Apocrypha Vol. 2, brought to us by translators Rick Brannan, Rebecca Draugho...")
  • 18:56, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Bad Things to Call Your Mother (Created page with "==Show Notes== Having a bad day, Theophiloi? I mean, yes, of course you are, we all are in These Unprecedented Times. But hey, let's look on the bright side! At least angels aren't poking out your eyes, cutting out your tongue, and breaking your tablet, like they did with Judas. That's what Bartholomew told us, anyway, and believe it or not, it's nowhere near the weirdest beef in his eponymously apocryphal Book Of. Join us as Death and all his kids get thoroughly dunked...")
  • 18:56, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page JeSuS With Two Cool Ses (Created page with "==Show Notes== Pack your bags, Theophiloi, because we're going on a trip to India with Thomas, the Second Christ, who works hard and flays harder. Thanks to Dr. Tony Burke and his new book, New Testament Apocrypha Volume 2, hitting shelves this summer, we're taking a look at one of the weirder apostolic adventures, translated for the new book by Janet Spittler and Jonathan Holste. That ol' doubter Thomas is out to spread the word, and believe us, he's got skin in the gam...")
  • 18:55, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Adonai is Ichiban! (Created page with "==Show Notes== Can you believe we're stuck in this elevator together, Theophiloi? I guess there's nothing we can do but pass the time with the clip show episode of Torah while we wait for the power to come back on. Join us as Deuteronomy offers up a bunch of stuff we've already read, and a record YPP score (yikes per page). We gotta eat the vegetables before we get to Judges, folks. Topics of discussion: Benito's completely buck wild choice of a favorite candy seriously...")
  • 18:55, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Spiritual Warfare Is Good, Actually (Created page with "==Show Notes== It's our Nintendo 64th episode, Theophiloi, so we're taking a break from our usual Book study to dive into the least canonical Bible-adjace content we can! Not approved by the church, not approved by Nintendo of America, and barely approved by the LifeWay Christian Store, it's the extremely dubious catalogue of "Biblical" video games by Wisdom Tree. Join us as we spend a Sunday Funday waging Spiritual Warfare on some Bible Adventures. Don't forget Baby Mos...")
  • 18:54, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Wist Not To Whom Ne Whither (Created page with "==Show Notes== You know who doesn't come off very well in Bible, Theophiloi? Dogs. This week, though, our canine pals get a little bit of redemption as we dive into the hagiographies of two sterling examples of Son of Man's Best Friend! Join us for the very official St. Roche "Pronounced Rock" Johnson and his li'l buddy Breadstick (patron saint of dogs) and the extremely disavowed St. Guinefort (patron saint of actually being a dog for real). Be warned: the dog does die...")
  • 18:54, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Oh, the Jews' Manatees! (Created page with "==Show Notes== One thing you have to say for the Book of Numbers, Theophiloi: it is exactly what it says in the title. Well, most of it is, anyway. Mixed in with all the census totals and step-by-step MapQuest directions to the Promised Land, though, is some truly wild stuff, including the return of one of our favorite Biblical tropes, the talking animal that no one seems to think is odd in the slightest. Join us, but make sure to brace yourself for a whole lot of skante...")
  • 18:54, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Countless Large Gregs (Created page with "==Show Notes== Happy Apocryphersary, Theophiloi! It's our show's second approximate birthday and it also just happens to be Big Boy Season. we're celebrating both with our annual tradition of checking in with Enoch, one of two prophets that God liked so much that he brought him directly to Heaven to hang out with a bunch of on fire eye wheels for 3,000 years before anyone else got there. And yes, this is definitely Heaven. It's absolutely, definitely Heaven. Trust us, it...")
  • 18:53, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Joses Crust (Created page with "==Show Notes== We're all having an extremely normal time right now, Theophiloi, but it always pays to remember that it could be worse. You could, for example, be Andrew, first called to be a disciple of the Lord Jesus, who was then sent to do a bunch of murders and be tortured in the City of the Man-Eaters. Or you could be Matthias, about whom nothing is known other than that he had to pretend to think he was a cow for about a month. Listen in this week as your humble So...")
  • 18:53, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Source of the Flow (Created page with "==Show Notes== Time to eat the vegetables, Theophiloi. After nearly two years of putting it off, we finally lay down the law with Leviticus, and scramble desperately to make a few jokes before we wind up thoroughly exhausted. It's not even the parts you know about that do it! It's the four chapters about skin care! Just go to Lush! Plus, a bitter argument about the weather that will ultimately destroy the show. Is this the end of the Apocrypals? Topics of discussion: En...")
  • 18:52, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Blaise, Your Dead Homie (Created page with "==Show Notes== Cough up that fishbone and tighten up your bowstrings, Theophiloi, because it's time to dive into a trio of hagiographies from our boy JDV and the Golden Legend. Join us as we commemorate February with a look at the ever-penetrated St. Sebastian, #1 pig recovery specialist St. Blaise, and the iron-willed patron of bellmakers, St. Agatha! Since we provide all the details of their martyrdom, I think we're technically a true crime podcast now, so increase you...")
  • 18:52, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page We Holy Ghost, Bro? (Created page with "==Show Notes== Wizards! Talking lions! Armies of demons! Dudes just straight getting wrecked in the face! Truly it can be said, Theophiloi: this one has it all. Join us as we recount the lives and conduct of the holy women in their swashbuckling adventure that was definitely not written by Mr. Paul. Also, we talk about what Jesus would be like if He was in Smash Bros., which takes up about fifteen minutes and is basically the entire premise of this show. Topics of Discu...")
  • 18:51, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Welcome to the Bone Zone (Created page with "==Show Notes== Welcome back, Theophiloi, to the truly disconcerting rantings of the hair-throwing, scroll-eating mad lad himself, Ezekiel! In this episode, we go to extremes, as Ezekiel offers up the most brütal horror movie prophecies for the iniquitous nations, and then takes a hard right turn into intensely specific blueprints for his visionary construction project. If you've ever wanted to know how prophets make their money, this is the episode that reveals all. To...")
  • 18:51, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page The Parable of the Sexy Blood Baby (Created page with "==Show Notes== Let me ask you a question, Theophiloi: why prophets so nasty? In this episode, we put our treasured No Cusses rule in the greatest danger as we dive into the violent and upsettingly horny visions of Ezekiel, last of the major prophets. This absolute scroll-eating mad lad has a whole list of unsavory activities and breads that he wants to tell you about in detail. Don't listen to this one with your mom. Topics of discussion: The Greenlit Podcast Network, A...")
  • 18:51, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Our Favorite Murders (Created page with "==Show Notes== Merry Christmas, Theophiloi! It's the most wonderful time of the year, where we gather to celebrate the birth of Jesus, which subsequently led to several horrible crimes that terrorized his hometown for years. Plus: our actual last-minute holiday gift guide! Topics of discussion: Benito's trip to Germany, the nature of Christkindl, Christmas Prince power rankings, the Karen and Georgia of a far less successful podcast, a Christmas present from the Canonip...")
  • 18:50, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Maccabees 3: Elephant Drift (Created page with "==Show Notes== Happy Hanukkah, Theophiloi, and welcome back to the action-packed saga of the Dynasty of God's Resisters! Ptolemy (not that one, the one who loves daddy) is causing some trouble in Alexandria, and by trouble, we mean a mass execution via 500 drunk elephants. This book rules. Plus: our hopefully not offensive suggestions for new Hanukkah traditions! Will Judith bring you a fancy pen on her way to her next beheading? We hope so! Topics of discussion: Dreide...")
  • 18:50, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Apocrypals Chris And Benito (Created page with "==Show Notes== [Note: This episode is also called "Second 51".] CONTENT WARNING: This week's book deals with some pretty depressing ideas, which leads us to discuss depression and, briefly, suicide. Absolute futility, Theophiloi. That's what we're dealing with this week as we dive into the dark horse candidate for our favorite book of Bible so far: Solomon/Koholet's extremely grim treatise on depression and why the living should envy the dead. It's a lot more lighthear...")
  • 18:49, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Jesus, Buffy (Created page with "==Show Notes== It's the spookiest day of the year, TheAWFULoi, and your humble Sons of ThUNDEAD are back at it with a deep dive into our least canonical selection: the evangelizing comic book tracts of Jack T. Chick. Join us as we discuss the dubious, hateful, and distressingly widely read stories that are designed to drag you kicking and screaming into a very specific version of salvation on this, the Devil's Birthday. Haw haw haw! Topics of discussion: Halloween plans...")
  • 18:49, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page The TERF of Babylon (Created page with "==Show Notes== It's our 50th episode, Theophiloi, and that means it's time to get Apocalyptic! Join us as we embark on an extra-sized episode covering the fever dreams of Johnny Patmo. Witness the opening of the Seven Seals, hear the sounding of seven trumpets, and debate over we are currently pre-apocalyptic, apocalyptic, post-apocalyptic, or post-post-apocalyptic. It's not as depressing as it sounds! Listen and be astonished! Topics of discussion: Shofar show good, Ro...")
  • 18:48, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Wajesus (Created page with "==Show Notes== Brace yourselves, Theophiloi, because this episode is a Triple-Epistle! (Tripistle?) Your humble Sons of Thunder are taking on not one, not two, but all three of the extremely short Johannine Epistles, in which we discover that a dude who once offered to burn down an entire city for Jesus, was actually way more chill than Mr. Paul. Quelle surprise. Plus: two solid minutes of us laughing at our own jokes about Ninja Warrior. Topics of discussion: the weird...")
  • 18:48, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page The Almighty Ambush Bear (Created page with "==Show Notes== Spoiler warning, Theophiloi, but it turns out that the Book of Lamentations is, in fact, actually a straight up book just full of lamentations. Jeremiah is back and surprisingly less wordy, so join us as we try to goof our way through this very depressing book about God putting hard times on Jerusalem circa 586 BCE. Plus: the complete New Testament Rap! Topics of discussion: A very confrontational installment of the Correctional Confessional, Gotta Get Th...")
  • 18:47, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Approximate Week II: The Quickening (Created page with "==Show Notes== You're invited to the holiest eight nights of the Apocrypals calendar, dear Theophiloi! It's Approximate Week, aka our mutual birthday! if you're looking for a gift, we have a recommendation for you: how about a nice cold glass of Messiah Boy Bath Water? Join us as we celebrate with another buck wild Infancy Gospel, in which the Son of Man deals with naked women throwing rocks in cemeteries, an eligible bachelor who is temporarily endonkeyed, and his Earth...")
  • 18:47, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page CTRL-Z On A Murder (Created page with "==Show Notes== Listen at your own risk, Theophiloi, for this is our most curséd episode yet! We lost our first recording, our second only made it six minutes in, and our third... Well, at this point we're just hoping it's not a real FDS (Final Destination Situation). Either way, we've got a good one in the Acts of John, the apocryphal adventures of an Apostle who resurrected his way through various horrible sex crimes. Plus: Was John a dog? Like, literally? Topics of d...")
  • 18:46, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Mummy Dust and Skeleton Bones (Created page with "==Show Notes== Hey Theophiloi, good news/bad news. About eight minutes into the recording, Chris's Good Microphone stopped working and so we did an hour of the show with Chris sounding like he was trapped in a hole. The good news is that we have a very good text this week: the Book of Ruth, Bible's greatest saga of wheat farming and sapphic subtext! Plus: We angle hard for that Fig Newton sponsorship. What's good, Nabisco? Topics of discussion: A thorough examination of...")
  • 18:46, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Terms and Conditions (Created page with "==Show Notes== The boys are back in town, Theophiloi, and we've got some breaking news: it seems the Kingdom of Judah has broken its covenant with the Lord of Hosts and will be punished with sword, famine, and plague! Seems like pretty exciting stuff, until the 30th time you've been through it, which is pretty much Jeremiah in a nutshell. Join us as we finish out the longest book in the Bible (and hopefully our longest gap between episodes), won't you? Topics of discuss...")
  • 18:45, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Why Prophets So Nasty? (Created page with "==Show Notes== Well, Theophiloi, it's been a hot minute, but we're back once again with the first half of Jeremiah, which is both the longest book in Bible and also the most unnecessarily long. Here, we'll save you some time: "God's mad." There, you have now read Jeremiah. If you want a more in-depth discussion of how metal this book can get, though, listen in for shattering destruction, and fields just chock full o' bones! Plus: the return of Rough Chuckles. Topics of...")
  • 18:45, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page The Roasting of the Apostle Paul (Created page with "==Show Notes== Hello, Theophiloi and Cheerful Givers! Looking for a nice way to relax, chill out, and maybe even fall asleep? Good news: we've got the book for you. Our old nemesis St. Paul is back with a second letter to the church at Corinth, and pal, it is a snooze... right up until he starts talking about Super-Apostles and how he was beaten with sticks. After that, it gets pretty wild, so do your best to stay awake through the whole thing. Plus, the one piece of the...")
  • 18:44, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Neo-Mary Is About To E X P L O D E (Created page with "==Show Notes== Happy Easter, Theophiloi! He is risen indeed! It's definitely still Easter, so we're back with the Questions of Bartholomew, and friends, let me tell you: he is not the only one with some questions. Join us as Jesus reveals mysteries that are so scary they will literally make you die just from seeing them. We hope hearing about them is a bit less lethal. Topics of Discussion: Hellstorm: Son of Satan, handy iconography of St. Nicholas of Myra, man-capes, S...")
  • 18:44, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Devil Got a Hog (Created page with "==Show Notes== Happy Holy Week, Theophiloi! If you're like your humble Son of Thunder and his friend the Author of All Lies, you have a keen interest in space. If that's the case, then you're going to love learning some new facts about the Sun and Moon as we dive into the second half of the Book of Enoch! Also, we really hope you like calendars, because there's about 20 pages of that in here too, but trust us: it's worth it for what comes after. Plus: A tale of Noah when...")
  • 18:43, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Rain is Boy Water (Created page with "==Show Notes== Happy Apocryphersary, Theophiloi! To celebrate one year of the show, we're launching into one of our most requested texts: the apocalyptic, hallucinatory, and profoundly influential Book of Enoch. Written about 200 years or so after the beginning of time, this story follows a prophet who was so cool that God just took him up to heaven (or possibly the planet Krypton) so that they could hang out for eternity. Get ready for thirsty angels, crystal houses, an...")
  • 18:43, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Sword Drill Online (Created page with "==Show Notes== Break out the birthday cake, Theophiloi, because as of this show, we've officially been at this for one full year! We're celebrating by pushing the Guessatron 5000 to its limits with a Bible Trivia Quiz to see if we (ie Chris) have learned anything from our year of book study. Play along and try not to yell at your phone too loud when you know the answer and Chris doesn't. Topics of discussion: The Complete Book of Bible Trivia by J. Steven Lang, most of...")
  • 18:42, 7 December 2021 Jemaleddin talk contribs created page Bigger Esther (Created page with "==Show Notes== Get ready to put on your costume, give money to the poor, and get tore up from the floor up, Theophiloi, because it's Purim time! Join us for the story of Esther, a uniquely God-free entry into Bible about a beautiful queen outfoxing Haman (BOOOO!) to the point where he gets severely impaled. It's a good one. Topics of discussion: a Lent Madness update, St. Joseph's Day, some bitterness about an old job, the Jewish Hero Corps, Ruth : Wheat :: Esther : Imp...")
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