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In each episode, [[Benito Cereno|Benito]] and [[Chris Sims|Chris]] read, watch or play something from the Bible (or Bible-adjacent) and talk about its history, authors, and contents.  
! episode !! date !! title !! subject !! source !! notes
|-
| 0 || 2018-03-29 || I've Been To My Share of Pizza Parties || nonspecific ||  || "Then, even if your beginnings were modest, your final days will be full of prosperity." -- Job 8:7


Welcome to Apocrypals, the podcast where two non-believers read through the Bible, but aren't, you know, jerks about it. Join comic book writers Benito Cereno and Chris Sims as they embark on a complete, non-sequential journey from Acts to Zephaniah, with stops in the Apocrypha along the way.
You can listen to all episodes at the show's [https://apocrypals.libsyn.com Libsyn page] or by subscribing through [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/apocrypals/id1366302177 Apple Podcasts]. [[Bonus Episodes|Bonus video episodes]] can all be seen on [https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLvsqJ485UTPgVIP1i-BTgMfSsmk4S7ouE Benito's YouTube channel].


Before we dive into the Good Book, though, we sit down to explain exactly why we're doing this, what our goals are, and our own history with a particularly Southern brand of Christianity.
==Episodes==
 
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Topics of discussion: The music of Carman, "pizza parties," Wu Tang vs. Supreme Court vs. Apostles, raps about the Gospels, St. Brightside, Paul as the Captain America of the Apostles.
! Episode !!       Date       !! Title !! Subject !! Source !! Transcript
|-
|- style="vertical-align:top;"
| 1 || 2018-04-08 || Porky Party || Acts || New Testament || "Look, you scoffers, marvel and vanish away, because I am doing a work in your days, a work that you will never believe, even if someone were to explain it to you." — Acts 13:41
| [https://apocrypals.libsyn.com/episode-0-ive-been-to-my-share-of-pizza-parties 0] || 2018-03-29 || [[I've Been To My Share of Pizza Parties]] || nonspecific || || [[I've Been To My Share of Pizza Parties (Transcript) | Yes]]
 
|- style="vertical-align:top;"
Chris and Benito begin their Biblical journey with the sequel to the Gospels. The Holy Ghost Awakens as Peter proves to be pretty hard-line about communism, Paul goes a little too hard in the paint, and we meet our first favorite character in the Book.
| [https://apocrypals.libsyn.com/porky-party-the-book-of-acts 1] || 2018-04-08 || [[Porky Party]] || Acts |
 
Topics of discussion: Holy Week breakdown, Theophilus and the #squad, Judas exploding, St. Christopher (a werewolf), Pentecost, Ananias and Saphira vs. Full Socialism, Simon Magus, 12 dudes with like four names between them, the Party Dude of the Book of Acts, Snake Church, the two main dudes of the Bible.
|-
| 2 || 2018-04-14 || One Weird Trick || Daniel as well as The Prayer of Azariah aka the Song of the Three Holy Children; Susanna; and Bel and the Dragon
|| Tanakh and Deuterocanon || Therefore I issue a decree that anyone of any people, nation, or language who says anything offensive against the God of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego will be torn limb from limb and his house made into a garbage dump." -- Daniel 3:29
 
This week, Benito and Chris take their first foray into the Old Testament, and into the Apocrypha with the Book of Daniel, including the deuterocanonical Prayer of Azariah, Bel and the Dragon, and Susanna. Join us as we discuss Nebuchadnezzar's harsh penalties, Daniel's Encyclopedia Brown-esque early days, examine the one weird trick that makes doctors hate this local prophet, and treat you to what might be the most amazing pun of the entire Bible. Plus: Chris went to Mass!
 
Topics of discussion: Catholic Mass and the Lord's Prayer freestyle breakdown, the Tanakh vs. the Old Testament, a brief recap of the period between Abraham and Alexander the Great, Shadrach, Meshach, Abednego, turning houses into garbage dumps as punishment for bad dream interpretation, most of the Bible stories you bring up conversationally, Antiochus IV Epiphanes and an excellent goof from history, tree puns in Greek, the Septuagint, Encyclopedia Daniel, Angelic GrubHub, 2 Creeps.
|-
| 3 || 2018-04-22 || Various Heresies || The Acts of Peter and The Acts of Peter and Paul || Apocrypha || "Go, say unto Simon: Peter, because of whom thou fleddest out of Judaea, waiteth for thee at the door." -- The Acts of Peter, Chapter IV
 
Join us this week as we dive into the apocryphal Acts of Peter and Acts of Peter and Paul for the daring return of the Bad Samaritan himself, the Father of All Heresies, the man who claims to be Jesus and may actually be Paul, Simon Magus! When our favorite Biblical supervillain shows up, Simon "The Rock" Peter returns to action to reanimate a smoked herring, get into a resurrection-off, and other Acts that are buck wild even by Biblical standards. Plus, the extremely apocryphal events of Justice League of America #2 and World's Finest #265.
 
Topics of discussion: Julius Caesar Real vs. Robin Hood real, How to tell Peter and Paul apart in paintings, Leucius Charinus, Gnosticism and Ennoia, Simon (Paul) (Saul) vs. Peter (Simon), the death of Dioscurus, how the city of Pontiole got full-on Spongebobbed, The Acts of Pilate and the Gospel of Nicodemus, the Science Dimension, The Church of Domine Quo Vadis and the footprints of the Ghost of Jesus, Peter: The Literal Rock, San Paolo alla Tre Fontani, M.R. James, Harris and See, "Roll Call

Revision as of 17:59, 13 March 2023

In each episode, Benito and Chris read, watch or play something from the Bible (or Bible-adjacent) and talk about its history, authors, and contents.

You can listen to all episodes at the show's Libsyn page or by subscribing through Apple Podcasts. Bonus video episodes can all be seen on Benito's YouTube channel.

Episodes

Episode       Date       Title Subject Source Transcript
0 2018-03-29 I've Been To My Share of Pizza Parties nonspecific Yes
1 2018-04-08 Porky Party Acts New Testament Yes
2 2018-04-14 One Weird Trick Daniel as well as The Prayer of Azariah aka the Song of the Three Holy Children; Susanna; and Bel and the Dragon Tanakh and Deuterocanon Yes
3 2018-04-22 Various Heresies The Acts of Peter and The Acts of Peter and Paul Apocrypha Yes
4 2018-05-06 Wittgenstein's Monster The Book of Isaiah Tanakh Yes
5 2018-05-20 On the Road to Rome Paul's Letter to the Romans New Testament
6 2018-05-27 Fresh Prince of Beliar The Ascension of Isaiah Pseudepigrapha
7 2018-06-03 Neon Genesis Good News The Gospel of Mark and Secret Mark New Testament and Apocrypha Yes
8 2018-06-10 What's Up, Doctor Goodacre The Gospel of Matthew, Part One New Testament Yes
9 2018-06-24 Simon Peter's Sweet Sixteen The Gospel of Matthew, Part Two New Testament Yes
10 2018-07-02 The Dude Hates Wizards The Gospel of Luke New Testament
11 2018-07-09 90s Vertigo Jesus The Gospel of John, Part One New Testament
12 2018-07-15 Whomst Was At the Tombst? The Gospel of John, Part Two New Testament
13 2018-07-30 Bonus Goat The Deuterocanonical Book of Tobit Deuterocanon
14 2018-08-06 The Boy-Related Eagle Plan The Story of Ahikar Pseudepigrapha
15 2018-08-13 An Approximate Week The Golden Legend: St. Christopher and St. Benedict Golden Legend
16 2018-08-19 Doamurder, West Virginia The Book of Genesis, Part 1 Tanakh
17 2018-08-27 Five Gallons of Bread The Book of Genesis, Part Two Tanakh
18 2018-09-09 Literally and Figuratively Wrestling With God The Book of Genesis, Part Three Tanakh
19 2018-09-23 MBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBMBaM The Book of Genesis, Part Four Tanakh
20 2018-09-30 Shalom Birdie (with David Wolkin) The Book of Genesis Tanakh
21 2018-10-07 Biblerella The Acts of Paul and Thecla Apocrypha
22 2018-10-15 Ocean's Two The Book of Judith Deuterocanon
23 2018-10-21 Dunking on Satan The Acts of Pilate and The Gospel of Nicodemus Apocrypha
24 2018-10-29 Butt Stuff Dragon The Testament of Solomon Pseudepigrapha
25 2018-11-14 One Rinthies, Baby First Corinthians New Testament
26 2018-11-19 Some Other Christmas Man The Lives of St. Nicholas and St. Lucy Golden Legend
27 2018-12-02 The Book of the Dynasty of God's Resisters The First Book of Maccabees Deuterocanon
28 2018-12-10 Second Maccabees Second Furious The Second Book of Maccabees Deuterocanon
29 2018-12-16 These Apocryphal Ravings The Infancy Gospel of James Apocrypha
30 2019-01-07 Apples and Oranges The Legend of the Three Kings by John of Hildesheim Saint stories
31 2019-01-24 Yartzed Upon a Distant Shore The Book of Jonah Tanakh
32 2019-02-03 Return of the Twelve-Foot Volcel Lion Questions & Answers Listener questions
33 2019-02-10 Thicc Darkness The Book of Exodus, Part One Tanakh
34 2019-02-24 Thorn Bushes and Pushups The Song of Songs Tanakh
35 2019-03-03 Down in the Donkey Hole The Book of Exodus, Part Two Tanakh
36 2019-03-12 GRAZACHAM! Muirchu’s Life of Saint Patrick Saint stories
37 2019-03-20 Bigger Esther The Book of Esther and Greek Esther Tanakh and Deuterocanon
38 2019-03-31 Sword Drill Online Bible Trivia Special Complete Book of Bible Trivia
39 2019-04-07 Rain is Boy Water The Book of Enoch, Part One Pseudepigrapha
40 2019-04-19 Devil Got a Hog The Book of Enoch, Part Two Pseudepigrapha
41 2019-04-29 Neo-Mary Is About To E X P L O D E Questions of Bartholomew and The Resurrection of Jesus Christ by Bartholomew Apocrypha
42 2019-05-06 The Roasting of the Apostle Paul Second Corinthians New Testament
43 2019-05-27 Why Prophets So Nasty? The Book of Jeremiah Tanakh
44 2019-06-23 Terms and Conditions The Book of Jeremiah, Part 2 Tanakh
45 2019-07-14 Mummy Dust and Skeleton Bones The Book of Ruth Tanakh
46 2019-08-09 CTRL-Z On A Murder The Acts of John Apocrypha
47 2019-08-21 Approximate Week II: The Quickening The Syriac Infancy Gospel Apocrypha
48 2019-08-28 The Almighty Ambush Bear The Book of Lamentations Tanakh
49 2019-09-16 Wajesus The First, Second, and Third Epistles of John New Testament
50 2019-10-02 The TERF of Babylon The Revelation of John New Testament
51 2019-10-28 Jesus, Buffy Halloween Chick Tracts Chick Tracts
52 2019-11-24 Apocrypals Chris And Benito The Book of Ecclesiastes Tanakh
53 2019-12-08 Maccabees 3: Elephant Drift The Third Book of Maccabees Deuterocanon
54 2019-12-22 Our Favorite Murders The Infancy Gospel of Thomas Apocrypha
55 2020-01-12 The Parable of the Sexy Blood Baby The Book of Ezekiel, Part One Tanakh
56 2020-01-26 Welcome to the Bone Zone The Book of Ezekiel, Part Two Tanakh
57 2020-02-08 We Holy Ghost, Bro? The Life of Xanthippe, Polyxena, and Rebecca Apocrypha
58 2020-02-23 Blaise, Your Dead Homie The Lives of St. Sebastian, St. Blaise, and St. Agatha Golden Legend
59 2020-03-08 Source of the Flow The Book of Leviticus Tanakh
60 2020-03-22 Joses Crust The Acts of Andrew and Matthias Apocrypha
61 2020-04-05 Countless Large Gregs The Second Book of Enoch Pseudepigrapha
62 2020-04-19 Oh, the Jews' Manatees! The Book of Numbers Tanakh
63 2020-05-06 Wist Not To Whom Ne Whither The Lives of St. Roche and St. Guinefort Golden Legend and The Life of Saint Guineforte
64 2020-05-18 Spiritual Warfare Is Good, Actually Bible Adventures and the Wisdom Tree catalogue Video games
65 2020-06-02 Adonai is Ichiban! The Book of Deuteronomy Tanakh
66 2020-06-14 JeSuS With Two Cool Ses The Acts of Thomas and his Wonderworking Skin Apocrypha
67 2020-06-28 Bad Things to Call Your Mother The Book of Bartholomew Apocrypha
68 2020-07-12 Scent of a Jesus The First, Second, and Third Apocryphal Apocalypses of John Apocrypha
69 2020-07-26 Thirst Corinthians The Lives of St. Mary of Egypt and St. Pelagia Separate books
69 Secret 2020-08-28 Secret 69 The Greater Questions of Mary Apocrypha
70 2020-08-09 Two Firkin Bored The Letter of Aristeas Pseudepigrapha
71 2020-08-23 Approximate Week Chapter 3: Parabellum The War Scroll Pseudepigrapha
72 2020-09-06 Cold Brew Paul Paul's Letter to the Galatians New Testament
73 2020-09-20 Be Courageous! The Book of Joshua Tanakh
74 2020-10-04 Howl of the Ostrich The Books of Micah and Nahum Tanakh
75 2020-10-18 Lazer Babies The Apocalypse of Peter Apocrypha
76 2020-11-01 Filling the Room The Life of St. Martin Separate books
77 2020-11-15 The Blessed Voltrons The Lives of St. Catherine and St. Barbara Golden Legend
78 2020-11-29 MACCABEES the Fourth Book of Maccabees Deuterocanon
79 2020-12-13 Marys Christmas The Infancy Gospel of Pseudo-Matthew Apocrypha
79 Bonus 2020-12-22 Bill Bless Us, Every Ted Christmas Gift Exchange 2020 The Joy of Friendship
80 2021-01-10 The Deadliest Skambush of Them All The Book of Judges Tanakh
81 2021-01-24 Sometimes It's Just Sucky Paul's Letter to the Ephesians New Testament
82 2021-02-07 Sedeqetelebab! The Book of Jubilees Pt 1 Pseudepigrapha
83 2021-02-21 Speedrun Tactics The Book of Jubilees Pt 2 Pseudepigrapha
84 2021-03-07 Just One More Thing The Life of St. Columba Hagiography
85 2021-03-21 Old Clootie The Life of St. Dunstan Golden Legend
86 2021-04-04 God Junior The Third Book of Enoch (Part 1) Pseudepigrapha
87 2021-04-18 Crisis On 18,000 Earths The Third Book of Enoch (Part 2) Pseudepigrapha
88 2021-05-09 A Miserable Pile of Secrets The Da Vinci Code, the film Fiction Yes
89 2021-05-23 2000 B.C. The First Book of Samuel Tanakh
90 2021-06-06 Worfin’ the Lions The Second Book of Samuel (Part 1) Tanakh
90.1 2021-06-20 Double Chai: Rock Me, Asmodeus Solomon and the Devil Talmudic Legend
91 2021-06-27 The Me In This Story Is You The Second Book of Samuel (Part 2) Tanakh
92 2021-07-11 Slayer of Men, Conqueror of Space The Gospel of Philip, the Gospel of Mary, and the Gospel of Jesus’s Wife Apocrypha (Gnostic)
92 Bonus 2021-08-04 Cephalo4: Protect Yr Neck Cephalophores Saint stories
93 2021-08-15 Approximate Week IV: OblIVion Joseph and Aseneth Apocrypha (Tanakh)
94 2021-09-26 Little Martha and the Small Vandellas The Lives of St. Mary Magdalene and St. Wilgefortis Golden Legend
95 2021-10-10 An Abyss of Significant Depth The Apocalypse of Paul Apocrypha
96 2021-10-24 The Goku of Judaism Stories of the Baal Shem Tov The Golden Mountain by Meyer Levin
Bonus Persona 5 2021-11-16 Guess the Persona-fied Bible Character Persona 5 Persona 5 (Video Game)
97 2021-12-02 Pretty Sus, Lesbius The Acts of Andrew Apocrypha
98 2021-12-23 You Know, the Manger? Christmas Chick Tracts Chick Tracts
99 2022-01-30 For Sale, Baby Legs, Not Attached The First Book of Kings Tanakh
100 2022-03-05 Escape From Flesh Island The Gospel of Judas Apocrypha
101 2022-04-21 The Apocrypals Solve Theodicy The Book of Job Tanakh
102 2022-06-12 Napalm Toots The Lives of The Lives of St. Martha of Bethany and St. Margaret of Antioch The Golden Mountain by Meyer Levin
103 2022-07-03 Sucky James The History of Joseph the Carpenter Apocrypha
104 2022-08-01 Previously, on Bible The Epistle to the Hebrews New Testament
105 2022-08-12 Approximate Week V: RaVager El Shaddai: Ascension of the Metatron Video Game
106 2022-10-30 A Serious Goku Move The Second Book of Kings Tanakh
107 2022-11-13 Hellmensch Stories of the Baal Shem Tov The Golden Mountain by Meyer Levin Yes
108 2022-11-27 Skip This One The Book of Hosea Tanakh Yes
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