Little Martha and the Small Vandellas

Show Notes

Work with me here, Theophiloi: It sure is late July 2021, and that means it’s time for us to celebrate the feast day of Jesus’s Second-Favorite Mary, depending on who you ask! We’re rolling through a hagiography of Mary Mags so dubious that even Jacobus de Voragine says part of it is definitely made up, and considering that dude’s wack standards, that’s saying something. Plus, a very special guest Saint who definitely exists because some history dude would not admit that he didn’t recognize a statue of Jesus.

Topics of Discussion: Chris’s move, Dave Seville’s truly reprehensible parenting, the nature of the word “bridge,” Just Tryin’ To Get Through in 5782, the nature of the word “Gruenies,” the etymology of Mary (fake), the etymology of Mary (real), antagonyms, the seven canonical hours, The Feet.

Offertory: As Enoch writes, "Whoever of you spends gold or silver for his brother's sake, he will receive ample treasure in the world to come." Support the show via http://ko-fi.com/apocrypals, or check out Official Apocrypals merchandise designed by Erica Henderson! https://www.teepublic.com/stores/apocrypals?ref_id=18246

Black Lives Matter. Trans Lives Matter. Heck 12. Isaiah 54:17.

Hymnal: “Proud Mary” by Tina Turner, “Never Gonna Give You Up” by Martijn Koetsier (https://www.youtube.com/c/Organ4everyone)

Opening Verse

In her conversion she was armed and rendered unconquerable by the armour of penance: she armed herself the best possible way – with all the weapons of penance – because for every pleasure she had enjoyed she found a way of immolating herself. After her conversion she was magnificent in the superabundance of grace, because where trespass abounded, grace was superabundant. — The life of St. Mary Magdalene