Biblerella

Show Notes

Watch out, Theophiloi -- we've got some high voltage coming your way as we dive into the apocryphal Acts of Paul and Thecla. For the first time, we have a real female protagonist who has agency... to the extreme. Join us for an astounding piece of Biblical fanfic, a discussion of why Thecla was left out of the canon (hint: thousands of years of entrenched misogyny), and get ready to be thirsty for virtue when you meet your new favorite semi-Biblical figure. Plus: a very good story about a very large lion.

Topics of discussion: "The Lost Scriptures" by Bart Ehrman, a brief divergence into Santa Claus Canon, the real Patron Saint of the Internet, St. Isadore of Seville, Tertullian, Constantine (not that one) and the Hell Bible's version of Corinthians, various apocalypses, Paul's Bulk and Skull, AO1, a stack of virginity pledges reaching to the ceiling of the Flavian Amphitheater, Adrian Toomes, the hat guy, Holy Musk, Quentin Beck, man-eating seals, a surprising substance to see at a beheading, and a litany of podcast recs.

Hymnal: "Danger! High Voltage!" by Electric Six

Offertory: If you enjoy the show, head to ko-fi.com/apocrypals and send us a love offering! We absolutely appreciate it!

Opening Verse

The living God, the God of vengeance, the jealous God, the God who stands in need of nothing. This God has sent me to provide people with salvation by dragging them away from corruption and impurity and every pleasure and death, that they may no longer sin.

— The Acts of Thecla, Chapter 17

Favorite Verses

Both:

"Then they cast in a large number of wild beasts while she stood, reaching out her hands and praying. When she finished her prayer, she turned and saw a large vat filled with water, and said, 'Now is the time for me to be cleaned.' She threw herself in saying, 'In the name of Jesus Christ, on this final day I am baptized.' When the women and the entire crowd saw what she was doing, they wailed aloud and said, 'Do not throw yourself into the water.' Even the governor began to weep, because seals were about to devour such beauty. But then she threw herself into the water in the name of Jesus Christ, and the seal saw a lightning bolt and floated on the water dead. Then a cloud of fire surrounded her, so that the beasts could not attack her and no one could see her naked." — Acts of Thecla Chapter 34

Music

Danger! High Voltage by Electric Six

Choice Quotes

(Help fill this in by checking out the transcript.)